the struggle is just beginning

i love my husband.  i really love him.  i dont really want anyoneelse but i wish i cld go back in time.  i find myself tempted 2 have another relationship.  my h and i r getting along better. were talking. hes trying.  he says hes gonna go c a counselor.  ill beleive it when i c it.  i want a relationshipwhere i can b the only  am the only 1.  i dont wanna have this feeling that he didnt want me.  i love him & hes loving me,but4 how long.  i am still reeling from this. if he did it again i dont know what i wld do.  found out he lied again. i dont feel like his heart is mine.  it hurts. and over all i feel li8ke a traitor 2myself 4 accepting this.  i am taking care of me better.  but theres still what hes done.  i can 4give him but staying just seems wrong. its just 2 much.