The Story - Being Raped
Rape The First Time Pt.1:
I always liked to help in the nursery at the church despite that I was 11. It was fun and kept my out of trouble during the "big" service. But one day changed it so that I was numb to the world. During certin times of the year the nursrey closes down for a while. Well one of my "friends" said the nursery was open and to just wait cause she would be late. The guy was older than me by I believe 6-8 years? Anyway I was in the room sitting on the ground against one of the walls reading a poetry book. I had the lights off because there was plenty lights coming in the window. Next thing I know he came in shut the door which didnt fase me. He sat in the rocking chair that was near me and started talking "frisky" I didnt know much of what he was saying and was really deep into my poetry so I really didn't even pay too much attention. Next thing I know he grabs my chest and starts to fondle and says we can go into the bathroom and finish up. I froze up and shook my head no. I got up to go to the bathroom while I was washing my hands thats when he came in. He didnt say anything at first I fought hard but my voice was frozen enough that I only got whispering squeeks out. When he was able to overpower me enough to the floor all I could do was cry. I struggled hard before my body went limp. I didn't know what to do and felt hopeless, scared, confused, and alone. He threatend me and I listend to him about not telling anyone. I started cutting and tried to commit suicide that night and my life went in a spiral.
Unfortunatly this kid still went to the school I went to. I did get good grades up to that point. I remember the day my schooling days went down the drain. It was the day that class had let out for lunch for my grade level walking down the stairs I saw him and before I could turn around to walk away he motioned me to go down there. So being stupid I did he grabed me in for a hug and whisperd again in my ear what he would do if I didn't play along and introduced me to his gang of friends as "his bitch". From that point I walked as slow as I could. I was late to class, doing everything in my power to even avoid seeing the back of his head.
That journey did alot of damage. I was now cutting, trying to commit suicide, I started to shut down on everyone and just didn't like anything. My parents would yell at the top of their lungs about grades.Plus having a father with an addiction that turn him angry, didn't help anything else.
I always liked to help in the nursery at the church despite that I was 11. It was fun and kept my out of trouble during the "big" service. But one day changed it so that I was numb to the world. During certin times of the year the nursrey closes down for a while. Well one of my "friends" said the nursery was open and to just wait cause she would be late. The guy was older than me by I believe 6-8 years? Anyway I was in the room sitting on the ground against one of the walls reading a poetry book. I had the lights off because there was plenty lights coming in the window. Next thing I know he came in shut the door which didnt fase me. He sat in the rocking chair that was near me and started talking "frisky" I didnt know much of what he was saying and was really deep into my poetry so I really didn't even pay too much attention. Next thing I know he grabs my chest and starts to fondle and says we can go into the bathroom and finish up. I froze up and shook my head no. I got up to go to the bathroom while I was washing my hands thats when he came in. He didnt say anything at first I fought hard but my voice was frozen enough that I only got whispering squeeks out. When he was able to overpower me enough to the floor all I could do was cry. I struggled hard before my body went limp. I didn't know what to do and felt hopeless, scared, confused, and alone. He threatend me and I listend to him about not telling anyone. I started cutting and tried to commit suicide that night and my life went in a spiral.
Unfortunatly this kid still went to the school I went to. I did get good grades up to that point. I remember the day my schooling days went down the drain. It was the day that class had let out for lunch for my grade level walking down the stairs I saw him and before I could turn around to walk away he motioned me to go down there. So being stupid I did he grabed me in for a hug and whisperd again in my ear what he would do if I didn't play along and introduced me to his gang of friends as "his bitch". From that point I walked as slow as I could. I was late to class, doing everything in my power to even avoid seeing the back of his head.
That journey did alot of damage. I was now cutting, trying to commit suicide, I started to shut down on everyone and just didn't like anything. My parents would yell at the top of their lungs about grades.Plus having a father with an addiction that turn him angry, didn't help anything else.
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