The start

Well I have decided that I have a problem. I have always know that I have issues with my body, my self image , with food and excersise. I know that it all started with being overweight as a child and young teen. When I say this I was never obese or unhealthy but I carried my baby fat far past being a baby. I knew I was kind, I was smart, I was friendly and nice but no one cared about those things or treated me the way that they should have because I was fat. I can remember being a  seventh grader and telling myself that I could not eat something because I had to loose weight. I was sick and tired of people calling me a "fat ass" so I would come home from school and tell myself that I was not allowed to sit down until after dinner which was hours away. I know that as a twelve year old I should have not been thinking like that but it's where it began. It did not help that as soon as I was very thin I started to make alot of friends. Girls wanted to hang out with me, boys were intrested in me. It positively reinforced the idea that what I was doing was okay and was good. As the scale went down my popularity and outside happiness went up. At the same time I really think I got this mentality into my head that the only way I will be liked or will ahve success in my life was if I remained incredibly thin.