the same old

So I've been home a few days now... Being home is rough. I am trying to stay positive, but find that it's hard. No friends to see. Nothing to do. Well, there's plenty of organizing and cleaning that could be done. i guess I could do that. I guess I should say there hasn't been anything fun to do. And the fiance leaves town for work early Monday. I'll be alone for a few days. I'm not thrilled at the prospect. I am going to have to find things to do while he's gone.
I wonder (sometimes) what's wrong with me. People would kill to be home from work and have free time to do whatever they want. Why can't I seem to see the things I thought I would want to do if I had the time? I remember working so much I barely had time to eat or sleep and wishing desperately for some time off. And here I am. I feel like I'm just complaining with no good reason.
I've always worked too much and now that there isn't work, I am constantly trying to figure out what to do while the holidays pass and there isn't work to go around until the New Year. I guess I feel like unless it's work or productive, I'm not doing anything worthwhile and feel guilty.
If I look through my journal entries, I know that a recurring issue is finding something to do that will help me rebalance my life. That will help me keep from getting depressed or staying there. Why is this so hard?