The pressure you feel

I'm in my cell now. With Blue. Radio on. Candle lit. Electric potbelly stove flickering and crackling away. I feel the pressure to know who I am, and I wonder the pressure we put on ourselves if the evening isn't totally satisfying or anchored by any significant event. I'm tempted to think something is wrong with me if I'm not exactly satisfied. There's enormous daylight between engaged in activities happily and unknowing and empty of purpose or direction. But just thinking about it like this and working through it, I'll get ready for bed, I'll make something of this less than misery, something constructive, something for the future and for my plan.

Have a good night!