The Power of release

It's amazing how much good it does for me to journal about things that hurt me or make me feel any form of negativity.  Once I wrote all that shit in my journal about Douche I started remembering it all.  I remembered how NOTHING he ever did in that "relationship" was ever about me or for me.  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  Even things that seemed nice were all about him.  He is a fucking Misogynist- a fucking woman hater.  He despises women.  That fucker rationalized women's period pains- he sighted the fucking bible to show how we deserve it b/c eve ate the apple.  In the same conversation he stuck up for woman beaters and explained to me that they do it b/c they are powerless to women!  That was the same special conversation where he threatened to beat me.  Btw- in our first argument he called me an abuser and he sighted the DSM (therapist reference tool) as to why he was right.  Loved that about him really- the fact that just telling me I was a piece of shit wasn't sufficient- he always had to quote some fucking source to make it seem like- "See- everyone thinks your crazy- its not just me- so it must be true."  GRRRRRRR- fuck him. He did EVRERYTHING TO UNDERMINE ME.  He sought me out to destroy me for his own sick validation.   I wish he was here right now- I'd fucking clock his ass so hard.  He's a strong man but I bet with my level of rage it would only take one hit to deck his disgusting woman hating ass. 
On that note- all those warm and fuzzy feelings I was entertaining are gone.  And honestly when it comes to him I'd MUCH rather feel the anger.  Additionally its a reminder that I'm not above it with him.  I can't let myself forget that.  Soon after that feeling comes the feeling like- "Maybe I can see him, maybe I'm over it."   And that is the fucking beginning of the end.
I won't let it happen again.  I swear I wont.  I'll do everything I need to to prevent it.