The power of music
So today, I spent what seems like the better part of the day, listening to music, and what would be considered a very very loud level. Not sure since I didn't leave the room, but I sense outside could hear what I was. I've been having a bad few weeks with the flu, but aside from a cough, I'm starting to return to my usual weak self. So since I've been so sick, and out of it, I decided to treat myself today to music. Well needless to say, I turned myself into mush.
I don't know what it is with me and music, but it calls to me, like a siren to a ship, and it pacifies me in such a way that is very hard to explain. Today, I just sat back in my recliner, turned up the music to a ear deafening level, and just laid back and took it in. On the menu today, was this strange Gothic band called To-Mera, and well to say the least it took me for a real loop, one I haven't experienced in a long while.
Now since my breakup, I really haven't listened to this genre of music much because the dark imagery, lyrics, and sounds tends to bring me down and I think of the ex. Oddly, that didn't happen today, but something far stranger. I just sat there, absorbing it, like I was consuming it, and I felt like I was watching myself from out of my body. Strange I know, but I felt my soul being nourished and healed from the music.
I'm not sure how else to explain it. For such dark music, for such pain and sorrow this woman that sings must feel, I for some reason felt at peace, safe, and calm. I took in her pain, took in her sorrow, even felt some of it within myself with some stuff I've been coping with, and yet it just felt comforting.
I have often wondered why music does this to me. There is some dance music that I listen to, namely Samantha James, that if listened to loudly, I fall deep into a trance. You can't wake me, you can't bring me out, unless you kill the music. My mother dealt with that a few weeks ago and was upset at me for this, but it wasn't something I could help. With her, her voice sounds like an angel to me, and loudly, she brings me such peace that I feel like I'm floating among the clouds, watching the world spin in slow motion.
So I only listen to her when I am due to be alone for hours at a time, with no interruptions, as I don't want to deal with the hassle of no one understanding. Is it sad that I have so many secrets about myself that I feel the need to hide? I tried to relate these feelings to a few of my close friends, and they all think I'm a bit loony. "It's just music", they say, or "You realize they don't mean what they sing about", or the simple, "You are crazy."
Why is it so abnormal to feel music this way? Don't some of these artists feel the music the same way I do? Do they not have such a strong connection with music to be capable of singing about it in such a passionate way? To me, there are artists that have a way of conveying their happiness, their inner light, their pain and sorrow, their darkness, there hurt, their dreams, all through their vocal chords. The music behind them only amplifies this, for me, resonates within me in such a deep way that I can feel my soul beckoning.
So this is what I've been through today, and well for years now, and felt the need to get it off my chest. Not sure why I felt the need, but I guess after being told I was crazy again today, I felt the need to validate that I'm not as crazy as it seems. If you have the same experiences as me, would you mind sharing with me what does it for you, and what happens? And if I really am crazy, how do I stop being so crazy when it comes to music?
I don't know what it is with me and music, but it calls to me, like a siren to a ship, and it pacifies me in such a way that is very hard to explain. Today, I just sat back in my recliner, turned up the music to a ear deafening level, and just laid back and took it in. On the menu today, was this strange Gothic band called To-Mera, and well to say the least it took me for a real loop, one I haven't experienced in a long while.
Now since my breakup, I really haven't listened to this genre of music much because the dark imagery, lyrics, and sounds tends to bring me down and I think of the ex. Oddly, that didn't happen today, but something far stranger. I just sat there, absorbing it, like I was consuming it, and I felt like I was watching myself from out of my body. Strange I know, but I felt my soul being nourished and healed from the music.
I'm not sure how else to explain it. For such dark music, for such pain and sorrow this woman that sings must feel, I for some reason felt at peace, safe, and calm. I took in her pain, took in her sorrow, even felt some of it within myself with some stuff I've been coping with, and yet it just felt comforting.
I have often wondered why music does this to me. There is some dance music that I listen to, namely Samantha James, that if listened to loudly, I fall deep into a trance. You can't wake me, you can't bring me out, unless you kill the music. My mother dealt with that a few weeks ago and was upset at me for this, but it wasn't something I could help. With her, her voice sounds like an angel to me, and loudly, she brings me such peace that I feel like I'm floating among the clouds, watching the world spin in slow motion.
So I only listen to her when I am due to be alone for hours at a time, with no interruptions, as I don't want to deal with the hassle of no one understanding. Is it sad that I have so many secrets about myself that I feel the need to hide? I tried to relate these feelings to a few of my close friends, and they all think I'm a bit loony. "It's just music", they say, or "You realize they don't mean what they sing about", or the simple, "You are crazy."
Why is it so abnormal to feel music this way? Don't some of these artists feel the music the same way I do? Do they not have such a strong connection with music to be capable of singing about it in such a passionate way? To me, there are artists that have a way of conveying their happiness, their inner light, their pain and sorrow, their darkness, there hurt, their dreams, all through their vocal chords. The music behind them only amplifies this, for me, resonates within me in such a deep way that I can feel my soul beckoning.
So this is what I've been through today, and well for years now, and felt the need to get it off my chest. Not sure why I felt the need, but I guess after being told I was crazy again today, I felt the need to validate that I'm not as crazy as it seems. If you have the same experiences as me, would you mind sharing with me what does it for you, and what happens? And if I really am crazy, how do I stop being so crazy when it comes to music?
Replies
I dont see this as crazy at all !!!! I find it totally a healthy release and escape. I really get it that few people understand and relate to music at this same level. That in it self can be very frusturating.... i know for me i just feel like.... ughhh dont anyone else do this???? People in my family dont understand me needing to just have some me time to be alone with music...... so i usually just throw on some headphones and exercise for long time to get the music and alone time.
Music has been my \"escape\" ever since i was a kid.... i can remember doing this as far back as age 11 as a way to cope with abuse. I would turn on the music and just let it take me away .... i think it was a way of feeling numb in my life and to allow me to feel something safe.
Now as an adult i use music to escape too..... during times of high emotional pain, stress, and with bad relationships. It helps to clear my thoughts and challenge distorted thinking. Sometimes i just need that alone time even if its just a safe way to allow myself to be in a dark moment.
For me its a form of de-stressing and I love the places music takes me. I would hate to think that an artist is just doing it for money or without truely feeling the moment and the passion that is in the music. Art is art whether it be painting sculpting drawing or music ... the artist feels it as they are creating.... if they didnt they wouldnt be able to produce it . Possible the people that are telling you its crazy to feel this way with music just are not able to feel it? I know for me thats hard to imagine because it comes so natural to me to escape with it.
I\'ve given that some thought, that they just don\'t feel it like I do. I know for me, it is my way of escaping, and shutting down my brain for awhile. For me, I struggle a lot with shutting off and just being. I\'m always thinking, always analyzing, and trust me when I say, sometimes it can be exhausting. I used to meditate a lot, back before my lungs made it a challenge, but I still try every now and again.
For me, I\'ve been exposed to music as a baby. I didn\'t watch cartoons as a kid. We watched MTV. I\'ve grown up with music in my life, and it has always had a special bond with me. Certain riffs, certain melodies, certain chord strings, if played right can just move me. I\'m mostly effected by women vocals, but there are a few males that can do the same. It just hits something deep inside me that nothing else can, and when it does, I\'m gone.
I guess it could be considered an escape. I know if I\'m stressed out, or depressed, or sad, I find I try harder to trance out. I also find that if I don\'t listen to music for awhile, say a couple days, my mood declines a little, like I\'m missing something. I\'d venture to say that 5 or so hours a day for me is spent with music on. I might not be actively listening to it to trance, but it is on for noise.
I\'m glad you feel the same way I do. Sometimes I do wonder how nuts I am, and it is glad to see that I\'m not alone in these feelings. I\'m glad that it helps you escape, and relaxes you. I\'m also glad that it gives you the time to analyze your thinking, and maybe put things in perspective. I completely get the dark moment, as there are times I just have to feed it for awhile. It personally for me is my way of releasing all of it, and it really helps after awhile.