The pain of waiting
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/09/14/staying-celibate-before-marriage-was-best-thing-ive-ever-done/
I want to proclaim to the world that YES, I believe this, too!!I want to cry it out from a hilltop!
But...... there are two things:
First, I know that hardly anyone of my demographic (age, faith, degree of religious observance) will be with me.
Second... it makes my heart so very sad that I can no longer obtain this.
I lost. I fought for a very, very, very long time. I fought with my heart. I looked to what was vastly deeper than the temporal that was around me.
And I lost.
Darned if I did, and darned if I didn't.
I eventually couldn't wait anymore. I found a chance to throw off the stigma... and I seized it.
Even if I am no longer able to look the other way and wait anymore....... I still feel the ideal in my heart.
I think I always will.
The question I wonder: Do I come out of the closet? And if so, to whom?
If people knew the truth, it could put me in a vulnerable position, and it could put a strain on our relationships. Potentially.
I hope that some day I'll have the strength to live out loud what I feel deeply about physical intimacy.
I want to proclaim to the world that YES, I believe this, too!!I want to cry it out from a hilltop!
But...... there are two things:
First, I know that hardly anyone of my demographic (age, faith, degree of religious observance) will be with me.
Second... it makes my heart so very sad that I can no longer obtain this.
I lost. I fought for a very, very, very long time. I fought with my heart. I looked to what was vastly deeper than the temporal that was around me.
And I lost.
Darned if I did, and darned if I didn't.
I eventually couldn't wait anymore. I found a chance to throw off the stigma... and I seized it.
Even if I am no longer able to look the other way and wait anymore....... I still feel the ideal in my heart.
I think I always will.
The question I wonder: Do I come out of the closet? And if so, to whom?
If people knew the truth, it could put me in a vulnerable position, and it could put a strain on our relationships. Potentially.
I hope that some day I'll have the strength to live out loud what I feel deeply about physical intimacy.
Replies
Why not be proud of who you are? There is a lot to celebrate about you, including your ideal to wait. As I believe I\'ve told you before, I was proud to be different by waiting until marriage. I was very open about it to anyone who asked, and of course, to my boyfriends. Sure, I had one boyfriend who decided to get some elsewhere (and I promptly left him), but the rest respected me for it. I really didn\'t experience that much of a stigma, unless you consider \"Really?!?\" and an amazed expression to be stigmatizing. In fact, most people said things like \"I wish I would have waited,\" if not until marriage, at least until they were much older.
Perhaps things were different because I\'m a girl...I don\'t know. But, I still say...live out loud. : ) What fun is it being someone you\'re not? Doesn\'t it just lead to more internal conflict? Also, in a relationship, do you want someone to fall in love with the real you, or someone you are pretending to be?
:-)
Thanks.
I guess I just want to feel happy about who I am now. And that\'s proving hard these days...