the pace of life
am I coasting through life? and is it passing me by?
life is so short - and I find myself starting to be aware of how
I am quite comfortable these days and time is passing....
I have my routine and I am taking care of life and keeping it going....
in the down time from my job - and the work at he monastery I find myself
with the windows wide open - and just coasting on the pace of the radio and
the birds singing outside, the sunny skies and the gentle breezes -
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am I forgetting that life is a contact sport?
am I becoming like Ferdinand the Bull and only seeking to smell the flowers and
enjoy the peace and beauty in nature?
why should it be frightening to do what you're naturally inclined to do?
And yet, I've been down that road before and got very very sick.
I guess I shouldn’t worry about it. If I relax I’ll eventually want to do something and not having anything to do generally does generate an anxious response in me. But I have to say, if I had my druthers I’d be healthy and I’d invest in doing the volunteer program at Trees of Life in Scotland. There! A bonafide goal! Someday, someway!
Do I need applause heh or do I need just the power of my conviction! :)
and though I do kind of get all mentally constipated while thinking about this stuff - I think maybe I should just think about
the two sides to myself when considering this thing. Will the trip satisfy my thoughtful peaceful side - or will it satisfy my passionate
hungry side? maybe kind of both? Maybe I can make room on the trip for both sides of myself to be considered and satisfied? make a side trip somewhere else during the same time?
Anyways - I'd be lucky if I will be able to afford it someday - and I guess I will just decide to do it and just do it someday.
In a kind of lateral point I think on social media it feels like the world population is becoming evangelists about our individual experience,
Communication is key - so it's been a wonderful thing to have a place where I can learn to discuss stuff with likeminded folks.
I met a young man in San Francisco years back. He worked for an acrobatic circus (i'm not kidding.)
I read his profile on his company's website after being invited to his show.
It said a lot of introductory things about him and then he wrote "I'm just living and making a living
at my own brand of crazy" - I loved that!! Indeed it's true for me too!! heh
Mark,
I hear your anxiety peeking through, and I want to remind you that you can live the kind of life that makes you feel content and not worry about societal expectations.
I am going through really rough things right now, but I am able to keep the anxiety minimized at least a tinge knowing the situation is rooted in some real human issues. I am dealing in problems more than my own right now - but I am personally making efforts to work toward improvements in any way possible. While that is different from what your current situation is and the work you are administering- you are successfully participating in life and in the human race. Keep moving forward- you’ve come a long way and will continue in that way in your future as you keep Growing. And you will live your life along the way - it is NOT passing you by.
Sending a hug of reassurance your way.
Thanks Nikki!!
you are a beautiful person