THE NEXT THING
Hello Sisters of the Heart,
I do hope and pray this finds you taking care of yourself and finding moments of peace on this journey.
I heard something last week that I thought was interesting - during your grief journey and you don't know what to do - DO THE NEXT THING.....What is the NEXT THING? The NEXT THING could be getting a drink of water, it could be getting out of bed for the day, it could be reaching out to a friend, it's whatever that NEXT THING needs to be....sometimes it might be just to breathe.....
I think I make this journey so difficult in the way that I think I need to do something but I don't know what that "something" is - do I even know what the NEXT THING is? So today I'm @ work and my NEXT THING is to take care of who comes in my door needing something.....
Almost 4 years since Jennifer has left this earth and I'm able to take strides toward learning how to live this life without my Jennifer, then there are days, I am only able to take baby steps because I just can't believe this is it.......I have tried different things to fill the empty hole I feel in my heart without my Jennifer and I've come to the realization that, the empty spot belongs to Jennifer and no-one else - Jennifer has a reserved spot in my heart that nothing else can fill or "take care of the emptiness" - somehow in realizing that, I'm @ peace. I don't like it. I don't understand. It's difficult for me some days to accept BUT knowing that Jennifer is there in that spot, I don't have to run around and try to fill it.
Love you all - sending hugs from Jennifer's mom.
Replies
I remember hearing in my Al-Anon meetings, "Just do the next right thing..." It has carried me on days I was running and trying to "fill" a bottomless pit. Your journal is such an encouraging one, because I always need to remind myself of this as well. Thank YOU!
Yes, Jennifer does have that reserved spot in your heart and BEing and what a beautiful way of expressing just that.
My next right thing today is going to the dentist for my six month check up. lol Sometimes it's as simple as that.
Loving care to Jennifer's mom from Douglas and me and again, deepest gratitude to you today for such a timely reminder.
Big (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
I have found that I can live better... not happy about it... but accepting that the pain is part of my normal... not happy or sad... just accepting... and also happier knowing the joy I feel just talking to Cara in my head or where ever... loving her... remembering... all that is a very real and this part a welcome part of my normal...
I too am trying to come to grips with the hole in my heart. I am so glad you are at peace with it being Jennifers spot, space, home...
XOXO Merrilee
Thank you so much for sharing this morning. I so needed to read this. I like what you wrote nothing else can fill or "take care of the emptiness". Tight hugs to you from Jeff's Mom, Nell
How very true this is....we only need to do the next thing. It's too overwhelming to think too far ahead, so knowing we only have take that one next step brings a measure of peace and dulls the anxiety of trying to figure it "all" out. I remember Joanie sharing this with me, and it truly does make a difference! Thanks for reminding me again that I can make plans all I want, but what is most important will always be my ONE NEXT STEP.
Much love to you and Jennifer~
I am SO BAD about getting too far ahead of myself and getting overwhelmed. My problem isn't doing the next step, it's thinking I have to have the next 12 figured out...or the next 12 years figured out...sigh...then I freak out and think, "No way, I am not going to live that long!!!" Nothing can take Cassi's place in my heart...and I wouldn't want anything to anyway...it belongs to her.
This is so true. For so many years I had to tell myself to do something. At work I knew what I was supposed to do but it did not turn out very good. It was slower and I needed to think things through. This became my normal, now I am better and faster it has taken a long time.
I am glad I have a big heart because I like the room needed for Mike it does grow as memories grow.
Much love and understanding
Penny