The Next Step!

Since shame is the cause of the codependency, I picked up my copy of Bradshaw's "Healing the Shame That Binds You", to review it.  These things stood out: "Shame-based people are always addicted to their toxic shame. It is the source and wellspring of all their thoughts and behavior. Everything is organized around preventing exposure...You cannot let your guard down for one second." "You can also be addicted to toxic guilt. Toxic guilt says you have no right to be unique, to be the very one you are. To stay in toxic guilt forces you into constantly taking self-inventory. Life is a problem to be solved, rather than a mystery to be lived. Toxic guilt keeps you endlessly working on yourself and analyzing every event and transaction. There is never a time for rest because there is always more you need to do. Guilt puts you into your head a lot." "Thoughts and mental activity are also potentially addictive...By focusing on a recurring thought you can avoid painful feelings. You can also avoid feelings by ruminating, turning thoughts over and over in your head. You can be addicted to abstract thinking.........Generalizing and universalizing keep one in categories so broad and abstract that there's no contact with concrte, specific, sensory-based reality. Abstract generalizing is a marvelous way to mood-alter."   What this means is that all this analyzing I do here in my Journal is about avoiding feelings, and I've been doing it for many years. I didn't get that until now. Looks like I've got a few more addictions to overcome. It's time to start feeling. I'll let ya'll know how I'm doing. Happy New Year... Rich