The new man - Surprise!
I gave up my weekend with my son so he could spend time with his sister as she is moving to Wisconsin next week. Then, My Ex decided I could have my son today after they all went on a hike up to the Hublein Tower. When I picked him up at 1:30, she asked me to drop him back off at 6:00 as the girls were having friends over for a fire and S'mores and they wanted him there. I wasn't invited.
When I pulled in, there was a tall man in the driveway talking with my Ex. They just kept talking and ignored me, so I brought my son's stuff in the house. She came in the house a few minutes later. I asked who it was. She said it was her new boyfriend, Chris. I so didn't need to see him, nor did I know she had progressed so far as to introduce him to the kids after supposedly only making the decision to start dating on the 15th.
It seems way to soon for my son to have another man in his life unless she is sure about him, but how could she be in under two weeks? I don't think it is right for her to have him there at the house.
Also, she knew what time I would be there, so I'm wondering if she wanted me to see him? She says she wanted him to meet my step-daughter before she leaves for Wisconsin next week.
I'm so torn apart. I wish I could shut off all my emotions. My chest hurts and my stomach is in knots.
She says she is bringing my son here tomorrow night and staying for dinner, but not a walk as she has a massage at 8:00.
I have to keep it together for my son. I had a hard enough time doing that today knowing she was on another date yesterday. It will be even harder tomorrow.
I know I should text her and ask her not to come, but part of me wants to see her. I'm so messed up at this point I don't know which way is up.
When I pulled in, there was a tall man in the driveway talking with my Ex. They just kept talking and ignored me, so I brought my son's stuff in the house. She came in the house a few minutes later. I asked who it was. She said it was her new boyfriend, Chris. I so didn't need to see him, nor did I know she had progressed so far as to introduce him to the kids after supposedly only making the decision to start dating on the 15th.
It seems way to soon for my son to have another man in his life unless she is sure about him, but how could she be in under two weeks? I don't think it is right for her to have him there at the house.
Also, she knew what time I would be there, so I'm wondering if she wanted me to see him? She says she wanted him to meet my step-daughter before she leaves for Wisconsin next week.
I'm so torn apart. I wish I could shut off all my emotions. My chest hurts and my stomach is in knots.
She says she is bringing my son here tomorrow night and staying for dinner, but not a walk as she has a massage at 8:00.
I have to keep it together for my son. I had a hard enough time doing that today knowing she was on another date yesterday. It will be even harder tomorrow.
I know I should text her and ask her not to come, but part of me wants to see her. I'm so messed up at this point I don't know which way is up.
Replies
Sorry to hear this - my own biggest concern going forward is when my wife unveils the new man. I know there have been several - at least for sex. And I know for a fact that she is either dating someone now or just messing around with one or more people. And she still lies about it and pretends she hasn\'t cheated!
Anyway, your ex and mine stbx - both on sex-fueled power trips. Sorry, it just sucks completely. Whether either of them was ever really a good and genuine person is absolutely in question. It\'s also possible that they just changed. But who they are now is cheaters, liars, and users. See her in the proper light - a very negative picture.
She has probably been seeing Chris for a while. She strung you along, was probably stringing Neil along too. There may even have been other men. She was playing the field.
Someone else mentioned this on one of the threads and I think it is accurate so I\'ll paraphrase. These cheaters are cowards in that they are too cowardly to talk to us about the things they perceive as being wrong in the relationship. And then when they decide they want to move on they are too cowardly to tell us and move on - ALONE. Instead they lie and cheat and rebuild that part of their life all while keeping us as backups in case things don\'t work out. Think about how horrible that is. My wife\'s been doing exactly that for at least 2 years! Maybe 3! Wow.
TELL, don\'t ask, your ex not to come over. You are just setting yourself up for more pain.
Hang in there. This really sucks but we\'ll get past it.
Ugh...and don\'t forget selfish. So selfish to have this new guy there knowing you were coming. I\'m in same situation. Stbx has probably been with the \"downgrade\" for 3 years now (2 of those without me knowing...cheater, liar, user). I wish i could say I\'ve stopped being the chump but i feel like i\'m in one of those marriages so she doesn\'t get deported. We haven\'t finalized everything yet. I have really cut back contact though. Only has been about kids.
There is light at the end of the shit tunnel. After a year of all this crap, i\'m seeing someone. It was unexpected but so good. It is difficult opening the door again and I\'m being cautious but it has helped me realize i\'m not an unwanted piece of garbage.
So not looking forward to when the downgrade gets introduced to kids and mutual friends. Not that it means anything but i have said i don\'t want this loser around my kids (yes loser...no job, left his 2nd wife for mine...blech!)