the memory still hurts-deseration from my assult

I was raped over 10 years ago- it was the loneliest time of my life. It was bad enough that it happened, bad enough that some of my family said that it was my fault- that I was being punished by God. The day that it happened I found out that my father passed away a few weeks ago. February 2 was not a good day.  The only good thing is that the man was caught and arrested. He tried to blame it on me- trying to say that I had sex with him to pay off a debt that I never owed him. The memory that hurts is that all through the waiting for the trial, the times that it was pushed back, that no one was really there for me. I did have one of my uncles there for me but he passed away, so I was back down to nobody. My boyfriend broke up with me, I think it’s because people told him that I might not want to have sex again. I got severely depressed and was suicidal. I was put on meds but didn’t take them. What hurts the most is that my mother wasn’t there for me. She acts like this never happened. The trial did come; the man was found guilty and won’t get out until 2013. The fact of the matter is that when I needed people the most (my family, my boyfriend) is that they deserted me in my time of need. I still feel like garbage, it still weighs me down. How can I move on from this? I thought I was past this but it still haunts me and it still hurts.