the loose wires
woke up gently today and it was really nice...my mind's loose wires tried to undermine me
with memories and questions but I mustered to stay contented and peaceful.
took a shower and then got a coffee - and I was seeing the world - the day as mine -
with the promise or the plain statement that it is mine to do what I like with it...
I needed to go to the leasing office to get something fixed and then my mind
undermined me again - this time it kind of went deep and I am trying to not let
it seize upon my day. I will keep on keeping on with the things I planned to do
but in all honesty - this undermining makes me go from a place of the day has opportunity
to me wanting to cocoon on my couch in my apartment in front of the tely.
My family and friends are wonderful but I don't know if they understand - how could
they? but they're really wonderfully supportive. I guess they might wonder why I don't produce
more - I go on these mental detours and the day gets away from me (hiding out) but I am going
to try and do more today.
Sending you guys big hugs and lemonade!!
Replies
Did somebody say, "loose wires?" I got a brand new soldering iron what needs breaking in. Acid core or silver solder? Yea, I'll have a glass of that lemonade while I work, too.
I'm kinda glad my family and friends don't understand my psychoweirds. If they did, I'd have to wonder if they are even crazier than I am, because *I* certainly don't understand them and would be *normal* if I could. Somethings in life are easier to manage if ya doesn't worry about understanding. Ya *just* gotta do what ya gotta do.
******lemonade glass clink*******
Here's to gentle acceptance.
thanks arfie. I got to my yoga class and my feelings overwhelmed me. I couldn't bring myself to go in. The loose wires
and the wave of weakness and sick feelings won this time. I am making lunch in the microwave now. I hope I will make something with my holiday week - I feel shut in.
In my personal approach, I watch for that win/lose mentality and bolster my "loser" self image with celebrating the victory of being willing to try. Life is not a sporting event with winners and losers. It's enough to do the best I can with what I have to work with.
Feeling shut in or looking for an excuse to chill with that tele? No vacation is complete without at least one mind rot day. Season 3 of Jessica Jones just came out. I'm on my second time through.
thanks arfie but things feel different today. Actually trying to express myself here is helping me get out of my shell a little.
I appreciate your suggested to flip to the positive and give myself some adulation for trying. I will keep on keeping on.