the last contact I had
This is really starting to make a cogent picture for me.
I was at work - I did a decent job. As I started to fatigue
my mind became a bit mushy and reactive but I was ok
and got the work done. My boss was there, we're not always on the same schedule.
But I went to say good bye once my shift was up and it seemed like she wasn't 'feelin it'
So I wished her 'have a good day' and made my way towards the check out/time clock.
I said good bye to Ken and Cheryl and then left - feeling kind of crestfallen from my
interaction with my boss. I drove home and got here and ate lunch and played with Blue.
I realized I was really obsessing about my boss when driving and when I got home...It was like
the last contact I had with others was inspiring my own inner machine to generate my own self identification
- the way I see myself in the world...that is ...until I caught myself! Wow - this need to have a sense of self in
the world can really be a obsession and self fulfilling prophesy! Give 'good to it!'
I thought about things and thought about religion and turned on music - it helps too!
So, I just took a shower and got dressed. Have an appointment at 1115a!
Have a good day guys!!
Replies
A healing balm for my own damaged self-esteem is letting other people have lives bigger than me. It lets me consider the possibility that a negative reaction to one of my good intentions might not have anything to do with me or my good intentions. Bad days happen in the best of lives. Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.
I'm envious of your shower. My hot water pipes froze up over the weekend and haven't thawed yet. Even the baby is starting to complain about her hygiene. Here's to hoping the freeze didn't crack the pipes. Won't know until they thaw. Grumble, grumble, grouse, grouse. . .
ugg I am sorry your pipes are frozen. Can you melt snow and boil it and then use a washcloth with soap?
Thanks arfie!! I agree....Who knows what upset her? Any number of things which may not have been anything to do with me.
Sending peace and good vibes.
Totally agree, your boss might have been having an off day. For my own little world, like you I just 'try' to be kind....whatever else happens is not my business...."
."Unless I Make It My Business"". In the past due to my codependent behavior I'd "need to fix" and this would set my head spinning...no more.
In the past, I used to be worried about '''how I was perceived by others", today """if I'm kind"""" Not My Problem.
thanks Mary Louise!