The Holidays suck...

4 months post divorce, almost 1 full year post seperation, and today was the worst day since the initial breakup. Just knowing she was at her family's, with her new man, and the kids, and for the first time in 11 years I WASNT there, well that made me so sad today. I picked up my 7 year old from her moms, and most of the family was still there, I couldnt go in, I just didnt have the heart, so i waited for her to bring him outside. She asked me "whats wrong you look upset?" I just laughed and said "what do you think? For the first time in 11 years I was alone on a holiday." Her response: "im sorry you had a rough day, I truly am." Whatever. After my son fell asleep I just laid in bed next to him, wanting to break down, and just saying to myself " I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home...." But alas, it is no longer my home, it is hers and his now, and I cannot go back.  Not sure how im going to get through Christmas.