The funeral
I don't have to tell any of you what attending the funeral of your child is like. When all the talking was over, the pall bearers made their way up front, my eye was on the funeral director. He was messing around with Cassi's casket. He closed the lid. Noooooo...I wasn't ready to stop seeing her. He moved the family spray to the middle of her casket and the pall bearers started rolling her out. I couldn't stand it. I stood up and yelled "No, stop" and ran over to her. The funeral director moved down the spray and lifted the lid so I could see her again. I don't know what I thought I could do. I leaned over, kissed her forehead, sighed...and turned around and walked back to my pew.
I keep dreaming that moment...leaning over and kissing her, over and over again. Sleep has always been my refuge.
I believe wholeheartedly she is in spirit, healthy and happy and I will be with her again, but I need you guys to tell me, please tell me...She is alive in spirit, happy and healthy and I will be with her again.
Replies
What matters most is that you believe this, Gina. Cassi IS alive in spirit, happy and healthy and you will see her again. This IS the only way I can navigate this profound loss and I know with every fiber of my BEing that there is life after life.
I understand that this is very personal for everyone and I honor whatever brings each of us comfort. I stand beside you with this one and as my darling grandmother who hardly ever swore said, "If this is all there IS I'm going to be damn mad."
Your funeral memory makes me teary and so utterly sad that this is our reality. How could it be??? It still takes my breath away...
May you find moments of comfort in those kisses that you share with your daughter.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart, Cassi's mom.
XO Joanie
My heart is with you my daughter passed away over 11 years my heart still breaks I know she's with me in spirit and I know she's in my heart and I feel her some times and every once in a while I get a sign to believe in your heart she is with you she's part of you and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers ❣️
We are in a place that others cannot understand and to be honest it has put me in a place that I really don't like. I find it very hard to be understanding of others loss when ours is so great. Yet we are put upon to do just that all the time. I am glad others are spared this horror. Just know that our children want us honoring them. This keeps me going. I hope Cassie will send you some sign. Peace, Kathy
Oh Gina - those last kisses, touches and gut wrenching good-byes are what we remember and sometimes for me, it's haunting. Reality slaps me in the face when I just want to wake up and call my daughter, only to hear her voice.
You will see Cassi again - she's with her mama everyday....how could she not when your hearts are connected. That is hope.....Love you sister. Vicki
I replay the moment, over and over... the funeral director asked me to pullup the "blanket" covering her . I tucked her in just like I had for many, many years, and kissed her like I'd done thousands of times.
I know Jenn is with me always, as your Cassi is with you... and they are waiting to be with us again.
Oh my dear Gina. She is alive and well and with you. I truly believe that our girls are around. But it just sucks that our daughters, and best friends are not here to hug. We will be together again. Tight hugs, M
I have been gifted several times with signs, visitations, dreams, visits... and yet at times I struggle to hang on to the knowledge that nothing ever dies... it only changes form. I hope Cassi will visit and reassure you. Hugs Elissa