The first night lying in bed without Ryan, his 1st sign to me
I PUT THIS JOURNAL UP FOR THE NEW MOMS TO READ:
RYAN I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!!!! Those are the exact words that I heard you whisper before I woke up the next morning after you passed over to the other side.The first night that I had to lay down knowing you were gone to (HEAVEN), I Prayed for you and God to help me sleep and help me through the fear of pain waking up the next morning. I want to thank you and God for answering my prayer!!! I want to share with my friends how you and God helped, by answering my prayer!!! Before I woke up the first morning without Ryan, I felt the flow of his spirit go through my body,I could see it and feel his spirit enter my body,I heard him whisper with a soft voice (I love you and miss you so so much) then I knew he was back inside me again... I felt (LOVE,PEACE AND COMFORT), ... Then I felt 3 hard taps on my back,as though Ryan had tapped my back 3 times to wake me up...I woke up and knew that he answered my Prayer!!! I said thank you Ryan and God, now I know ' you will help me get through the funeral...( If you ask you shall recieve ) no question in my mind.!!! The next Prayer I asked was ( PLEASE RYAN, GIVE ME MESSAGES IN MY DREAMS ) and he has, mostly I've had only visions of him, mostly of him in his younger years. He did give me about 4 messages in my dreams , I'll tell you those on my next journal entry... THANKS RYAN FOR YOUR HELP...LOVE YOU FOREVER SON!!!! MOM
RYAN I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!!!! Those are the exact words that I heard you whisper before I woke up the next morning after you passed over to the other side.The first night that I had to lay down knowing you were gone to (HEAVEN), I Prayed for you and God to help me sleep and help me through the fear of pain waking up the next morning. I want to thank you and God for answering my prayer!!! I want to share with my friends how you and God helped, by answering my prayer!!! Before I woke up the first morning without Ryan, I felt the flow of his spirit go through my body,I could see it and feel his spirit enter my body,I heard him whisper with a soft voice (I love you and miss you so so much) then I knew he was back inside me again... I felt (LOVE,PEACE AND COMFORT), ... Then I felt 3 hard taps on my back,as though Ryan had tapped my back 3 times to wake me up...I woke up and knew that he answered my Prayer!!! I said thank you Ryan and God, now I know ' you will help me get through the funeral...( If you ask you shall recieve ) no question in my mind.!!! The next Prayer I asked was ( PLEASE RYAN, GIVE ME MESSAGES IN MY DREAMS ) and he has, mostly I've had only visions of him, mostly of him in his younger years. He did give me about 4 messages in my dreams , I'll tell you those on my next journal entry... THANKS RYAN FOR YOUR HELP...LOVE YOU FOREVER SON!!!! MOM
Replies
I love signs....I am so glad you are comforted by them as well. I hate waking on most days still....but at the end of the day, my attitude is....one day down...one day closer to Heaven and being with my Brandon. Thank you for your post....love, dale...brandon\'s mom
My memories of those first days were as if I was on automatic pilot and did everything that had to be done for my daughter as there was no one else to take over and make the final arrangements. But thinking back now I must have had God\'s help because I don\'t think I could have done it otherwise. I just wish I wouldn\'t have a reason to travel this journey but glad I found FMO for the comfort I have found here. Truly your friend, BarbaraWawa
The early days are hard to remember. I know I didn\'t eat much for weeks and going back to work (out of necessity) three weeks later was hard. I think I functioned on shock. Like Cathy, I don\'t remember when I slept. It was sort of robotic. I would download time management games from a website and play this monotonous game and then order a new one. I was like a zombie, only not on medication. I couldn\'t follow a sentence that someone spoke to me nor could I follow a paragraph in a book. I did focus on my dogs at work (I am a dog groomer). This I could do. I will never forget the first time I went back into our store and the lights looked different. I don\'t understand that. Outdoors looked different. It was weird. Love, B
I don\'t like to think back to \"that night\" nor the nights to follow. They are so painful, yet I know there were earthly angels sent to me to ease my burdens during those first few weeks. I\'ve only had a few but I have had \"signs\". They are so wonderful and we have to have faith and believe that our children are safe and OK and we will be together again. Thank you for your entry. I\'m not even a new mom and I needed to read your sweet words. Love to you. Robin
Thanks for sharing those moments of comfort and peace. I\'m not a new mom.....but those signs do bring me comfort as well. Hugs, Kim
I\'m so glad Ryan came to you. It took me quite a while to be able to sleep... For about the first year I slept only 2 to 3 hours a night... I felt like I was going crazy... It was such an awful time... Its still awful at times but I have been blessed with several visits for which I\'m very grateful. I remember reading something recently that struck me as so totally true... its not that we heal... but we learn to live with the pain... Since I accept full well that I\'d never choose not to have had Cara... I accept the pain as part of the cost... Hugs Elissa Cara\'s Mom For Always
I am like Karen, I don\'t like to go think back to that day but I do especially every month starting on about the 23rd, he passed on the25th.I do know I felt so numb until after his memorial service then I had a breakdown. After reading how Ryan comforted you it made me think maybe it was Cade helping me through that first week after I got the worst phone call of my life. Your messages and comfort from Ryan moved me so much, thank you for sharing that experiance. Love, Laura.