the end. again, finally.

i'm sorry for giving you some sort of hope by starting to talk to you again. and even *I* started believing there was some sort of hope, kept hoping that you were somebody that you are not. the “connection” we had was only on the surface, the ability to openly and honestly talk via text. but anything deeper or more important than that, that's where we are far too different for me to be able to work with. we have too many differing values, and ways that we view people and the world at large,,,

the other day i imagined visiting your apartment, and i didn't feel excitement etc, i felt a foreboding, an unease. you've crossed a boundary that there is no coming back from. it's more than just broken trust. it's about how you've shown your character, time and again, in one important way, and that is how you basically disregard myself, and put your wishes and hopes and desires above my own. as if i am not a person of worth, but only a person worth having. i can't, and won't, be around somebody like that. and this is something that has come up time and again, over all the years, every time we met up. i'm done with giving you “second” chances to see if you've changed, if you've grown from that. and i'm too old to be waiting for someone to grow up. so, i'm done with you, personally. this is why i've said in the past that we can be “cordial” at work, meaning, we can communicate about work stuff cordially, but i don't wanna hear about anything personal from you, nor share anything personal with you. it's too much of a headache.