The element of irritation
It's wild, but I'm realizing that much of the time when I come home alone to my room (after spending time with blue that is), I tend to ruminate or focus on the most recent irritant to my security and stability. Case in point, I had an argument with the elder recently and that's a point of insecurity and instability for me since he controls everything here. I just spoke to my therapist for a while and I felt much better about it and then I talked to my dad. Fathers and sons... and complicated dynamic I'm finding myself now ruminating about my dad. He's older now though and I get it. He's just super tired. He can't deal with the drama that goes on and he shouldn't have to either. But I find myself just coming down now, expressing the stuff to you guys about the irritations and how those become foci of my ruminations l. It seems pretty obvious or evident that is something we all have to deal with. I think of the word snot knot that Arfie talks about not sure what is a snot knot, but I'm guessing it's something like that. Have a good night everybody may you have sweet dreams, peaceful moments, moments of relaxation, good vibes, and relaxing, pleasant times that your mind is free to romp and enjoy the moment rather than get caught up and negative stuff.
Replies
.Everything in life is a decision.......We choose to be happy or we choose to be angry.......The Elder who triggered you was simply showing you a part of yourself that is in need of healing....that is in need of forgiveness. ...There is a line in my book that says, "Thus does each one who seems to tempt you to be angry represent your savior. And so you owe him thanks instead of pain."
Sweet dreams and peaceful moments sounds like a great plan...xo
Thanks Bob and Janet?
We all have things that irritate us, and maneuvering the people behind the irritating things is an interpersonal work. I deal with it too. Lately I am mired in controlling people who may not be the best at managing their own psyche and project a lot. I try to listen to what they are telling me and adjust where needed, but also defending myself when it is proper to do so!
I think our mental health crises of the past can make this hard to navigate, because we constantly had people telling us how ill we were and that sort of thing really leaves scar tissue that makes everything coming from others evermore a wounding point.
Keep working on the balance marko. I am too.
Thanks Nikki
I really needed to hear Bob's words of wisdom, and I hope they resonate with you, too, Mark.
a psycho snot knot is a complex issue whose components are mixed into a hard to separate goo. for example, a conflict with an authority figure might create a blending of loyalty to whatever bonds us, dislike for the person. hopes for a healthy relationship, rebellion against parts i am uncomfortable embracing with confusing smatterings of my mental health issues to really muck the yuck.
yup, methinks you hit an arfian psycho snot knot. gentle support while you sort. don't throw any babies out with the proverbial bath water.
thanks susan and arfie!