THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER..
ON DECEMBER 17 2005 MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER.EVEN THOUGH TIME HAS PASSED,IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. I WAS OUT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LATE AROUND MIDNITE,WHEN MY VAN HIT A PATCH OF ICE IN THE ROAD,THEN A TREE.I WENTOVER A HUNDRED FOOT EMBANKMENT AND LANDED UPSIDE DOWN IN A CREEK BED.MY DRIVERS SEAT HAD BROKE AND FLIPPED ME BACKWARDS WHICH TRAPPED THE SEAT BELT AROUND MY STOMACH AND UPPER LEGS,CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION.I WAS FACE DOWN HALF IN THE WATER AND HALF IN GLASS AND SNOW THAT CAME CRASHING IN THE WINDOWS.AT FIRST I STARTED REACHING IN THE WATER TO GRAB MY KIDS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS THAT WERE FLOATING AWAY.THEN I REALIZED I SHOULDT HAVE GOTTEN SO WET IN T FREEZING WATER.I COULD NOT FREE MYSELF FROM THE EVER TIGHTENING SEATBELT.AT ONE POINT I THOUGHT ABOUT CUTTING IT WITH A PIECE OF GLASS BUT WAS AFRAID AS COLD AS I WAS I WOULD CUT THROUGH ME INSTEAD.ALS I COULD DO WAS LIE THERE AND SCREAM FOR HELP.I HAD NO IDEA I HAD WENT OVER THAT BIG OF AN EMBANKMENT AND I HAD NO SENCE OF DIRECTION TO KNOW WHERE THE ROAD WAS.I WAS THERE FOR EIGHT HOURS BEFORE A SNOW PLOW DRIVER FOUND ME.....THE RESQUE CREWS HAD TO SIT AND SLIDE DOWN THE BANK BECAUSE IT WAS SO STEEP.I WAS AIR LIFTED TO THE HOSPITAL ,WHERE I WAS IN ICU FOR A WEEK.I HAD SEVERE SWELLING FROM MY STOMACH DOWN AND COULD NOT WALK FOR ALMOST THREE MONTHS.THE DOCTORS DIDNT KNOW WHY....ON THE DAY I WAS DUE TO GO HOME I WANTED TO SHOWER,STILL NOT ABLE TO WALK I WAS WHEELED TO A SHOWER DOWN THE HALL THAT HAD A BENCH AND LOOKED MORE LIKE A CLOSET.THE NURSE TOLD ME TO USE THE CALL BUTTON WHEN I WAS FINISHED.WELL,I FINISHED AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK ,THE CALL BUTTON WAS BROKEN.I YELLED HELP BUT NO ONE HEARD ME...AGAIN JUST LIKE THE ACCIDENT.I HAD A FULL BLOWN PANNICK ATTACK.BY THE TIME SHE REMEMBERED ME I WAS ON THE FLOOR CRYING...WHEN I WENT HOME IN MY WHEELCHAIR I THOUGHT EVEYTHING WAS GONNA BE OK BUT NOTHING HAS BEEN OK SINCE...I USED TO LOVE THE SOUNDS OF RUNNING WATER BUT WHEN I GOT HOME AND HEARD THE WATER RUNNING INTO THE FISH TANK AND MY BEDROOM WAS DARK I BEGAN CRYING.FLASHBACKS OF THE CREEK AND SHADOWS OF DARKNESS CAME BACK.STILL,I HAVE NIGHTMARES OF ACCIDENTS AND NEVER BEING FOUND.BECAUSE OF THE HYPOTHERMIA I CANNOT STAND BEING COLD.SOME DAYS I CANNOT DRIVE AT ALL,I HAVE EVERYDAY PAIN IN MY BACK,HIPS AND DOWN BOTH LEGS,THAT CAUSE PAIN IN SITTING OR STANDING TO LONG.THE DOCTORS CANT FIND ANYTHING WRONG.BUT EVERYTHING IS WRONG AND I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK.....
Replies
Yikes! oh, lonely I\'m so sorry for you. I can\'t imagine what you went though. But I believe your here because your strong. I know you have pains (and of coarse the wonderful doctors can\'t figure out what is giving you the pains) but keep looking for a REAL knowledgable doctor who can give you answers and a cure. Lonely, what can I say but your journal entry had me in tears. Tears because of what I imagined what you were thinking at that time. Oh my God. I am sending you a hug that is so loving and know that my shoulder is always available at any time for you.
Luv ya your friend,
~Idio
I\'m so sorry to hear what you went through. Do you have access to physical therapy? Therapy for ptsd? Sending hugs and love and caring. Nicki
After making my other comment, I decided to check out your home page. After reading your terrible ordeal, and then the triggering in the hospital, I have a thought of what may be happening to you. Please read The Primal Scream by Arthur Janov as I suggested. It may be that the reason you are so cold intolerant and have pains in the back and legs that the doctors cannot help is that your trauma has opened up pathways to a very early experience such as birth. A little baby comes out of a warm snug hideaway. During normal birth, the back is subjected to curving past the mothers pelvic girdle. Then you come out into a cold world, and are put away in the dark, where even if you scream for a long time, someone might not come as quickly as you need. Just a thought, it might be something else, but having relived my own birth after 4 years of therapy, and sat with others doing the same, that is the thought your words evoked. Another thing you might try is going to an osteopathic physician. I took a client to one, weekly for a year. Then I would take him back to my office and help him process the feelings the physical treatment triggered. I and my children were in an accident. Afterwards, my 10 year old was complaining about his back. He said he wanted to go see the osteopath. We did, and the manipulation fixed him right up.