The Cup of life
I think tonights entry will be about 4) my communication. I could also add another rock to the cup that ties into it.
7) my lack of patience
I know that I do not communicate well. I let my anger get involved with it too much. When something is not happening right then and now, i do get angered and am unable to comunicate with it. I dont recieved communication well also when i am angered. i think that is because I am too caught up in being angered. I also lack on the following through part. I say i will do something, and something else comes up, i totally forget about the first thing i was going to do. I know sarah hates that out of me I forget a lot of things. Is it from stress? Is it because i am forgetful? if i had to answer it right now, i think it would be because i dont communicate wel with myself. I try to tell myself something needs to be done, but i move on while thinking about it and think about something else. Like this week, today. i am trying to clean my apartment out. We have accumulated so much stuff, that i now realize that sarah had to have been overwhelmed with it. I am now going through all of this stuff and looking at what we need, what we want, and what is garbage. I did not listen as well to my wife. I am sure that she has said we have too much stuff to me before, but just never 'listened.' I will work on my communication with people in general. As well as with myself. I know that when sarah is trying to say something to me, that i blow up because of it. I really am sorry for that. I never meant for anything like this to happen to my wife. I should have listened, truly listened, to what she has had to say. If i am given the opportunity to speak with her about things. i will listen with open ears, heart, and mind. I need to also realize that i must follow through with what is being said and show that to others. Since i am thinking about it, i also do not communicate my intentions very clearly as well.... I really dont know what else to say. i am realizing more and more each day how much sarah means to me, and how much i am the one who pushed her away from me. I think if my communication was better, it would not be this bad. There are some other things that i neeed to work on, but this is a big one. I hope and pray that it is not too late to show her i can change for me and her. I moved my progress level up a little bit. I feel worse each time i think about it and write it down. But with writing it down, it becomes record. As i record it, i can look back on it always and remind myself of what not to do, and how to do it better in the future. almost at a 24 hour smoke free mark! WOOT WOOT!
7) my lack of patience
I know that I do not communicate well. I let my anger get involved with it too much. When something is not happening right then and now, i do get angered and am unable to comunicate with it. I dont recieved communication well also when i am angered. i think that is because I am too caught up in being angered. I also lack on the following through part. I say i will do something, and something else comes up, i totally forget about the first thing i was going to do. I know sarah hates that out of me I forget a lot of things. Is it from stress? Is it because i am forgetful? if i had to answer it right now, i think it would be because i dont communicate wel with myself. I try to tell myself something needs to be done, but i move on while thinking about it and think about something else. Like this week, today. i am trying to clean my apartment out. We have accumulated so much stuff, that i now realize that sarah had to have been overwhelmed with it. I am now going through all of this stuff and looking at what we need, what we want, and what is garbage. I did not listen as well to my wife. I am sure that she has said we have too much stuff to me before, but just never 'listened.' I will work on my communication with people in general. As well as with myself. I know that when sarah is trying to say something to me, that i blow up because of it. I really am sorry for that. I never meant for anything like this to happen to my wife. I should have listened, truly listened, to what she has had to say. If i am given the opportunity to speak with her about things. i will listen with open ears, heart, and mind. I need to also realize that i must follow through with what is being said and show that to others. Since i am thinking about it, i also do not communicate my intentions very clearly as well.... I really dont know what else to say. i am realizing more and more each day how much sarah means to me, and how much i am the one who pushed her away from me. I think if my communication was better, it would not be this bad. There are some other things that i neeed to work on, but this is a big one. I hope and pray that it is not too late to show her i can change for me and her. I moved my progress level up a little bit. I feel worse each time i think about it and write it down. But with writing it down, it becomes record. As i record it, i can look back on it always and remind myself of what not to do, and how to do it better in the future. almost at a 24 hour smoke free mark! WOOT WOOT!
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