The Boring Entry

Just a quick update:   Had a wonderfully NORMAL day yesterday. I left the house for the first time in 3 days and got a lot of things done. Even made dinner without feeling like I was on Iron Chef.    Spent an hour this a.m. on DS answering messages, checking up on friends and putting in my two cents worth, afterwhich I was going to go out and do some more errands, when...whoa, another little wave of that Menopausal Feeling, along with sudden sleepiness.   So I had to stop and reaccess my day. I'm trying to say "I may not go out" instead of "I may not GET to go out" because if I don't feel better and have to stay inside, I won't feel so much like I'm not getting a treat or something I deserve (even though, in a way, it is a treat).    Be flexible, I HAVE to be flexible. I have to be flexible and be able to take my "To Do" list and put it aside for tomorrow (or whenever) because otherwise I'll get angry and frustrated and that'll add to the Bad Stuff that may be brewing.(Later) Okay, I'm feeling a bit better...so I'll just trim the To Do list down a little and take it easy.    So much easier to say than to do. The Anal side of me is screaming "But tomorrow you may not be able to do ANYTHING!!" to which I reply "then I won't do anything. My family knows the routine by now, and there's enough frozen stuff in the freezer." But I think I can go out, do one little errand, and come back.   Jeez, what a boring entry! But that's how it is with Menopause; it takes over and permeates every waking moment so that even when I'm not writhing in its crushing grip, it's dancing around the periphere giving me a periodic poke with the sharp Stick of Uncertainty; will I feel okay around 5pm when its time to make dinner? Or will I end up moaning in the bed while my third grader comes in to kiss me goodnight? So I try to be like the cat and think as much in the present as a human mother can. And whatever happens, happens.   And right now, I'm going out.   Besides, I'd much rather my entry be boring like this than filled with pain and suffering. That'll come sometime, and when it does, it does.