The Blues
Have you ever known a time when you had to set a boundary with someone you love and they take such an offence to it? That is the situation with my sister. The problem is she may never get all that she had wronged me with. She's the type of person who instead of taking reponsibility for her actions in the past that she tries to overcompensate with it superficial kindness today. It is like she is trying to atone herself, but as a Christian we can't do that only Jesus can when we repent.
I feel I have lost our friendship because I became healthy and set a boundary with her. She openly admitted that she hated my children. So, I confronted on her heartless comments about them and how insulting her comments were to me. I guess she stried to rectify her behavior by being overly nice to my kids. Yet, they saw right through her. It's so sad because I was the one she needed to address not my kids, because my children had no idea what was going on between us. So, now I was put in a place where I had to explain why Kathy was, as they put it, "acting strange" with them.
Sometimes doing the right thing for ourselves is not often received in the way we intended it to be. Everything I said confronted her judgemental opinion, but it was ment to help her see how wrong her behavior was not to insult her in any way. I just stated the truth. She's in denial. and I feel sad for her.
I'm sorry I'm just going on and on about this. I'm having to deal with the blues today and this must exasperates my mood. All I want to do is sleep.
I feel I have lost our friendship because I became healthy and set a boundary with her. She openly admitted that she hated my children. So, I confronted on her heartless comments about them and how insulting her comments were to me. I guess she stried to rectify her behavior by being overly nice to my kids. Yet, they saw right through her. It's so sad because I was the one she needed to address not my kids, because my children had no idea what was going on between us. So, now I was put in a place where I had to explain why Kathy was, as they put it, "acting strange" with them.
Sometimes doing the right thing for ourselves is not often received in the way we intended it to be. Everything I said confronted her judgemental opinion, but it was ment to help her see how wrong her behavior was not to insult her in any way. I just stated the truth. She's in denial. and I feel sad for her.
I'm sorry I'm just going on and on about this. I'm having to deal with the blues today and this must exasperates my mood. All I want to do is sleep.
Replies
Dealing with family can sure be a challenge. I pray you will have wisdom and strength to deal with your sister.
boundaries are necessary things, especially with people who are frequently in our lives. She has her own issues to work through, but they are not your responsibility. Caring about her is good. Letting her hurt people is not really caring. I hope you will be ok with this and that she eventually comes around to it too.
Thank you Stephanie,
I really needed what you said. I was beginning to doubt my actions. It\'s hard when I first started making boundaries not only was it awkward to the person on the receiving end but it was also difficult for me in the process. I know it is the correct thing to do because as I heal there are necessary issues I need to take care of as I learn to take care of me. My old self would say \"now look what you did, she\'s hurt and it\'s all your fault.\" It\'s hard to understand that taking care of ourselves does often mean changing the dynamics of our relationships. Naturally that is going to rock the boat.
Thank you for the reassurance that what I did was an act of being healthy! I needed that!
God Bless you my friend!
Hugs, Jessy
It is good to set boundaries though not always comfortable. I hope things improve with your sister.