The big let down.
Friday was my last class at my college before I take off to my extern. I have to say that Friday was one of the most depressing days i have ever had get over. Usually I just spill over and cry, but friday my emotions changed so fast all i wanted to do was curl up in a dark corner and shut my eyes too disapear. for 9 months i attended this school and had many good and bad days, but the one thing that i kept regular was my "emotional mask" no matter how drained i was i tried to be happy for everyone. i was friendly and was nice and social with everyone; even if i was going through a bad mood. i don't think i will be doing that again. i guess i forgot that friends only come once in a blue moon and apparently none of the others in my class considered me one. on friday i sat at my table myself watching everyone cry and hug eachother over the end of the class. they took pictures and laughed... and left me out of it all they even took class pictures without me. i even asked if i could have a hug and i heard her walk off and call me a bitch for complaining. how is it that it doesnt matter how nice you are you can get hurt so easily? i cant comprehend why i disereved to be shut out like that, but it seems that i complain about this often. i must have something wrong with me that people dont like. i used to think that nobody liked me because i was always sad...and they didnt like me asking them for support and help. so thats why i hid it; but nothing changed. im angry at them for their treatment, i feel like if this happens one more time im going to crack. i just want to scratch them out!