thanks for this place!

Wow!I haven't journaled in... well... ever.  And now I am at least going to put a few words in.  I tend to avoid journaling cuz I'm tired or behind at work. Hah! what's new about that?  I usually am both so here goes.    My first journal entry here.  I have a goal!  to journal and to participate on Daily Strength.  Iwhine to myself cause I have this goofy cFIDS and FIBRO poop in my life.  After 14 years of Fibro (having gotten used to it mostly) getting hit with the cfids was a blow.  it's much more of a knock out.  I moved from California (my home for my whole life) to a small town in Central Oahu - I  am the Transitional Pastor of a small church here - kind of a "fixer"... well not a fixer as a guide as they work on fixing themselves.  Awesome group of people. challenging but enjoyable work.  However - I was supposed to get a second job (subbing or whatever) in order to afford life here.  I live in a very semi rural unglamorous, un touristy little town, but it is still Hawaii - life is very expensive here and many have more than one job just to get by. Well I'd gotten sick with the viruses behind the CFIDS just after I'd interviewed for and gotten the job.  So while still in Cali, I slept through 6 weeks of sabbatical from my job at the time.  not quite the rejuvination it was intended for!!  I got into a doctors program that specializes in CFIDS/FIBRO etc   - Holtorf.  complicated protocol, lots of injections, very expensive. But it started working!  then I had to  clean and sort 40 plus years of living into what would go to Hawaii andwhat would be stored and then packl it all up.  YIKES!!!! intensive work while finishing my full time job of 13 years, saying goodbyes. Then the move and unpacking and starting the new job - well can you guess what hasppened?MASSIVE FLARE!!!   I  did get thru it, tho.    not enuf to work a second job tho.  In December got a nasty bug - bronchial stuff that lasted til about late April.  I've been having flares over the least stuff - a day at the beach with the church, a big day of errands and doctor appts.  I've spent more time sleeping or just crashed out.  But I am getting better - slowly.less time in flares and more good days.  still don't entirely feel up to working another job, but the funds have petered out and I am quite desperate to find a job now.   Not as easy as I thought.  I have not had to job hunt for some 20 years.  I've been a pastor and worked in non profits - but all of those jobs just came to me - some one recommended me and voila!  the next job.  So 20  years later - I havve masses of usable skills but no "recent experience;  I have a masters degree, but many jobs want certification from some program at the community college or a technical school.  On top of that we recently had the closure of several major employers - Aloha air, ATA, Molokai Ranch,  - so there are tons of folk looking for jobs.WHINER!!!!     I'll be taking a substitute training class in 2 weeks - then hopefully I'll be able to sub a few days a week and make it. I had great intentions to start coffee at 6 am, shower then head out to run a buncha work errands.  Well - it's 9:50 and I've had a bit of coffee, let the dog out, and... well that's it.  I have much to do before delivering s bunch of stuff to a colleague before a 1 pm meeting.  Now I'll have to see what is the least I can deliver without putting her out.I hate when I am having a slow morning, or a more tired than usual day. Well thank goodness it's not a "must sleep all day or die" kind of day. Yikes!   I do work best undder pressure - but not when I feel so foggy and hurt-y as I do this am.  Well i'm off to take a shower I don't have time for - but - well - a gals gotta do what a gal's gotta do.  The good thing is if I get all my work done I get to play online some this afternoon.  Watch some Brittish TV - take my BBC happy medicine.     But first gotta  get a move on.   OH MAN _ I"M REALLY LATE!!!!