THANK YOU!

Sunday, July 13:  Thanks to all of you reading and who have read my journal!  You are all my heros.  Answer to a few questions.....Yes, I am depressed.  Yes, I do take an antidepressant.  Yes, I do see a therapist.  My regular doctor says I have pathological grief.  Basically, that means I am stuck and not moving forward the way most people do.  There really isn't much to be done about it except to keep on keeping on. And, keep taking the meds and seeing the counselor.I did get one small bit of peace today.  One of the first EMT's on site the day Scott died was a friend of his.  I know her too.  Anyway, I finally got the courage to ask her about Scott's eyes being open when I found him.  I had this horrible vision of him laying there, wanting to call out, and yet unable to.  She told me the eyes often open after death  just the same as a body moving after death due to a final muscle contraction. It is, according to her, quite common.  So, maybe I can let that horror go, now.   I still don't know about vacation!  Craig did bring the camper over today. (We store it at his Dad's) So, I have washed the sleeping bags, the rugs in the camper, and mopped it.  Tomorrow I will take a wet cloth and wipe things down.  It is really pretty clean but after sitting unused for a couple of years, it just got a bit dusty. (Only bunnies in there)  As for the when & where, I have no clue!  I really like my camper so it was nice just to get in it for a bit. Now, if I only knew when & where we were going! We are supposed to go to Bull Shoals lake tomorrow with some friends and spend a couple of nights.  They have a lake house and a boat.  So, that might be a nice break. We were apparently adopted by a dog yesterday morning.  He appears to be a chocolate lab or at least a strong mix.  He is big and brown.  Very smart. He will sit and stay on command.  He does not jump on me and he leaves the kittens alone. He is probably 6-9 mos. old.  When Craig opened the front door, he was just laying right there.  Now, I am not a big fan of dogs.  I prefer cats.  Oh, we had one dog, Meatball, for 14 years.  I would give the occasional pat on the head.  The thing is, I don't hate dogs and they know it.  So, they all try to suck up to me.  Dogs love me.  Everyone else can be outside and the dogs will follow me.  Good dog karma, I guess.  But, it drives me crazy!  They make so much noise panting, they slobber, they lick, and they smell like dogs!  Maybe if I didn't feed them, play catch with them, and give them the occasional pat they would leave me alone!  Do you think that might help?  Anyway, I guess we will keep him unless we see a dog lost sign or something. That isn't likely, though.  Lots of people dump their animals here.  We live close to a road, on a Farm Rd.  We have had many stray cats and dogs over the years. Many of them have gotten run over, or we gave them away, or they wandered off.  We even had a stray dog once that let the kittens nurse on her.  Crazy!  Adam really loves dogs & it will be good for him.  Craig, too.  Scott and Chris, too.  I am the only non-lover.   But, I can't take him to the Humane Society because they are already overloaded.  And, I can afford to keep him.  So.....  Damned Dogs!  

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Perhaps I should come and lay on your porch, I don\'t bark, bite, slobber or get fleas....(Smile) Hope you enjoy yourself at the lake, chill a bit and relax -
you ventured into emotional territory with your question to the EMT - I\'ve done that myself over Shaun, but we want the answers and painful as they are to hear. I should go to a therapist - I know I am stuck, firmly stuck after almost one year. Just can\'t move forward honey - still hurts too much.
God bless you & take care. Love ya,
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I love that you are keeping your new friend. I\'m a dog person, however, it seems like we get all the cats. The momma kitty that Trav adopted just had 6 kittens. Now, this \"outside\" cat is living in my guest room with her family! I\'m a sucker! So, do you want the name and number of my grief coach? He was/is absolutely amazing. If it weren\'t for finding him, I believe I would still be stuck. Let me know, I\'m happy to share. Love ya honey, Barbara
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You might be surprised how much you could end up loving that dog!!! Charlotte.
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A chocolate Lab!! They are wonderful dogs, labs are big babies, basically! I would have a lab, but I\'m allergic to cats & dogs--so I can have only non-shedding varieties. Cats LOVE me, too. The 1st time I went to my sis-in-laws\'--her big calico angora jumped on me and purred like crazy. Mary just stood there with her mouth open and said--She don\'t go to anybody--she HATES people. I just told her, \"She knows I\'m allergic\" ;D
It took a lot of courage for you to talk to the EMT that took care of your son. Nobody would let me to go Jamie--EMTs, coroner, police, or my husband. At one point it was a real issue with me and I was set to enter a complaint--it was just wrong! I brought him into this world and I felt I had a right to hold his hand at the end. I even was going to request an \"open records request\"--that would have been the full report and even pictures that were taken. It took me months to decide not to get them because I\'m sure I would never get over it. Ginger, I hope you aren\'t mad at us for asking so many questions of you--I am just so concerned! I, myself, had 2 different therapists, but it did not help me. They saw me as this \"strong\" person, --I felt they didn\'t have a clue! Hugs, Judy
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Your new pet sounds wonderful...However, I am a fan of dogs and not of cats. Sounds to me like this was meant to be. Maybe someone/or angel sent this one to you. I bet you become the best of buddies. Love and Hugs.
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The dogs like you because you act like the pack leader. Make it someone elses job to feed and water him. That might give you a little releif. And if someone else is taking the dog places with them, thats who their going to want to be with. If your feeding them, they will follow you. Your their food supply. I had trouble with our American Bulldog. Not listening and growling at me. I started being the one to feed him and take him outside. He is treating me completely different. Haven\'t had anymore trouble with him. I guess you can tell I love Dogs. I think they are good for a family. When I was single, I had cats.
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Thank you for sharing about your grief...I think that you WILL move forward...I think you ARE moving forward...maybe not as fast as you would like...but you ARE making it through each day. Perservere! NOW...this week...where ever you end up on vacation...enjoy one moment...enjoy ANY moment that you can. Relax as much as possible...look at the beauty of the day, enjoy hubby...enjoy ANYthing and EVEYthing that you can. The dog...the dog NEEDS you. You obviously have a way with dogs (even if you don\'t want to have one)...but love him...love to you my friend...Karen
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I hope you find peace soon. It is hard to keep grieving so long. It takes a toll on you. My prayers are with you. jeanie
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The dog sounds great. I am a dog lover, have a dashshundabout 9 months old. You will move forward just not as fast as you think you should. But hang in there girl we are right here to help you thru . Enjoy your time away & relax if you can..Hugs, Connie
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That soud like a good ideal Sitting by the lake and relaxing
I love dogs. my godaughters gave us a kitten on M.Day I not a cat person but love Dogs
have a good time!!
love Caroline
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I don\'t really understand the meaning of moving forward. What is that place, what is it like if we get there? Do we know we are there? I just think we get through each day the best we can and if we can go back into the world and it feels somewhat safe again and we find some joy then we\'ve done alot. I think you\'re doing great. I think we are all doing great for what is being asked from us. I\'m so happy you found some resolution to your fears about your son\'s death. I hope you enjoy your camping trip and can relax and rest. Love Robin
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I am so glad that you are gonna become a dog lover, LOL. I love dogs and always have had several running around.Pathological is a good word and in your case it means that you have control over making the appropriate changes. Moving forward is not an effortless job and trust me it is a job cause it is hard work and it can be done. The one thing that I feel would help is for you each day to find a positive and every time you say or think a negative make it into a positive. Let me know what you think? Hugs, Inga