Test

Four hour test today; 9:00 - 1:00 pm. I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs; and I've already been told that there are no minimum scores, so it really doesn't matter. It's that old codep. principle of having prove myself to myself because I'm just not good enough. Same ol' B.S.; it's just thoughts. 3:00 pm Early scores: 530 on verbal, up from 470; 570 on quantitative, up from 380. There is an analytical writing portion that I feel a little queasy about...but I still other career choices. Which begs the question: are my problems with construction created by codependency? Am I letting it interfere with my ability to succeed; or am I too stubborn not to look eleswhere, like counseling? I have the unfortunate talent of being able to 'force' myself to ignor my feelings in order to try to be who I'm not. And I just wonder if that little 'skill' is part of my history of 'sticking with the plan' in the same nature as rearranging the deck chairs on the sinking Titanic. Trying to make it in construction was such a struggle, and now I wonder if my focus on this is too 'romantic'? We'll see...