TEN MONTHS TODAY
It is 10 mos. today since my Scott left us. I miss him more each and everyday. I still actually get sick to my stomach, the ache is so bad. I still don't know how I will continue to do this every day for the rest of my life. Just keep breathing, I guess. On another level I started my period today! YUCK! I have only had one since Scott died and I thought I was finished with this! I can tell you, I sure haven't missed it! That might be part of the reason I have felt so extra tired and rough this past week. I am still not feeling well but have made an appointment with an internal medicine Dr. for next Friday. I have had to change Docs due to my ins. I don't like that as I have been going to the same one for about 20 years. I am not giving him up, though. I just won't be able to see him as much. I have mitral valve prolapse but have not been on meds for about 15 yrs. I think it is time to get them again. I hope it, or something, helps. One of Scott's friends/ex-girlfriend, just stopped by. That was nice. She and I talked and cried for quite a while. She said she would bring her 5 mo. old baby over tomorrow to see me.
Replies
How nice to have a visit from Scott\'s friend. I hear ya on the monthly thing. I hate it too. I haven\'t miss one yet, other than being pregnant. I\'m told I am to young for the change yet so I guess I have to be patient. I don\'t know what to tell you about the angel dates. They can be very painful or just pass by. I am approaching Melissa\'s one year mark on the 23rd and I have my ups and downs. I will have family with me that day so I hope that helps. Take Care of U...Love and Hugs.
I am glad you are going to the Dr. Tell him everything. Stress is so hard on our bodies. I wish I could hold you right now... I can;t so I am going to pray for you to have a restful night and a better day tomorrow. Look for what I call my God winks. I try to look for God\'s love for me everyday. I pray that you see something special this week that will bring you joy.
xoxoxoxox
Bens mom4ever
HUGE HUGS RIGHT NOW
I chose your journal to read first this morning and was surprised to see how much we have in common. I too, stopped my period in Sept., the month after Shaun died - I was hoping I was done - and kept telling my daughter - hopefully this will be the end of it - but I got it last month. Can I tell you how miserable I felt? Ugh, really awful - I was so hoping it would never come back. I also have mitral valve prolapse, and have been medicated for years - my palpitations get too bad without the meds, they want to wean me off the heart med I take for it - to see how I do. Good luck with the new doctor - I\'ve been twice this week and have to go for a biopsy on the 29th. I\'m just not going to worry - what ever God brings I\'ll have to live with. I\'m sorry, the angel dates are hard for me - the time seems to have gone by so fast - but not really - somewhere my mind is still in August - I\'m here with you hon, always with you in spirit - you are a very special lady - ((((((((Hugs))))))))
Today (Friday) is Alex\'s 11 month angel date and he also died on a Friday. I hope that i will not make it more than it is. Please take care of yourself. If you feel okay physically then you stand a better chance of being okay emotionally. Love to you and a big ole hug...Karen
and im with ya....havent had a real period for almost 2 yrs. now and still got a sick feeling also...seems like everyday is a struggle...take care of urself ginger, i know this is the hardest thing in the world we can ever go through, our hearts are shattered beyond repair... but ur not alone, im walking beside ya...love ya
Sorry your still not feeling well Ginger your under alot of stress and Our body has a way of doing some strange things.My hair was coming out from the stress after Reggie died, Lossing our Children is the worst thing that could ever happen .We see ourselves dieing first and when this happen I bodys shut down. I am happy Scotts friend stop over.I love the fact that Robert and I are so close(Reggie best friend) He stayed with us when Reggie was here and after.
((((HUGS))))) lOVE U Caroline
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now. Seeing the Dr is a good idea, I\'m sure he should be able to help. In the year following John\'s death, I got pneumonia, lost 40 lbs, and had a bacterial infection on my face, and caught every bug that even came into my vicinity. Stress can do funny things to our bodies. You take care of yourself and let us know how the Dr goes. Nice to have a visit from Scott\'s friends. I\'m sure you learned a thing or two. LOl. Take care. Love and hugs Cathy
So happy you had a visit from Scott\'s friend.I get to see Justin\'s best friend everyday (he was the one that found Justin)They had a baby in Feb. So I have the pleasure watching her Monday thru Thur for 3 hours her name is Emily and she\'s 8 weeks old.Sometimes brings back memories when I had Justin.My days are rough just need closure on Justin\'s death have talked to many people but the one I really want to talk to nobody has his number he had it changed a year ago.I know he knows something that was the last person that seen Justin and he is avoiding me. I\'m going to tear his little head off actually there were 3 people there have talked to one can\'t get ahold of the other two.What good friends they are.The girl said Justin was over at Justin Harts house and Justin was pretty messed up.He actually told them he felt like he was going to die.They offered to take him to the hospital but supposally he told them to take him home what nice friends anyway out of the three that\'s what she told my daughter.I hope your periods get all worked out I had a hysterectomy about 7 years ago I had so many problems heavy bleeding,having periods and alot of pain I told them to give it to someone else HA HA.I have my ovaries still.Anyway I\'ve wrote a book hope I haven\'t bored you with my life and tryin to play detective.Try and have a good weekend let me know what Doctor says.Big Hugs,jfm21,Vicki