TEN MONTHS TODAY

It is 10 mos. today since my Scott left us.  I miss him more each and everyday.  I still actually get sick to my stomach, the ache is so bad.  I still don't know how I will continue to do this every day for the rest of my life.  Just keep breathing, I guess.  On another level I started my period today! YUCK! I have only had one since Scott died and I thought I was finished with this!  I can tell you, I sure haven't missed it!  That might be part of the reason I have felt so extra tired and rough this past week.  I am still not feeling well but have made an appointment with an internal medicine Dr. for next Friday.  I have had to change Docs due to my ins.  I don't like that as I have been going to the same one for about 20 years.  I am not giving him up, though.  I just won't be able to see him as much.  I have mitral valve prolapse but have not been on meds for about 15 yrs.  I think it is time to get them again.  I hope it, or something, helps.  One of Scott's friends/ex-girlfriend, just stopped by.  That was nice.  She and I talked and cried for quite a while.  She said she would bring her 5 mo. old baby over tomorrow to see me.