tempted

i am tempted to "cheat" on my husband.  no sex but i guess open myself emotionally 2 another man.  i want 2 feel what i shd have been getting with my husband.  im on all these networking sites.  invr really paid it much attnb4.  but i saw one where he was so popular & it made mejealous.  nt that he is possibly being with these chicks but that he gets so much attn even if superficial.  even if fakeand im over here like a dummy getting attn only from him.  i want an ego boost 2.  ijust had this guy add me i was reading his journal and he drinks and is not achristian.  what i found attractive about him was his lack of a filter.  he just sd what he wanted andlike what the fuck.  i have a filter but i often say whats really on mymind.  i find that my h doesnt half the time know what hes feeln so he cant tell me.  or he knows and wont say.  either is quite frustrational.  i wish hed just lay his cards on the table also i had a memory.  that a friend of mine years ago told me 2 watch my h around the wmn that i now know he had the affair with (i gotta trust God that its over, that God would not have me waste my time and energy in counselling and healing only 2 have him cheat again. i know God cant make him stop but God knows the future) .....