Telling our story
When does it get easier to tell people I am a widow?
Today I got my hair cut and my hairdresser asked me if I'd brought a sample of our invention to show her. I kept forgetting to bring one with me. As I was showing it to her, a man and his wife came into her shop to wait their turn for haircuts. He and I began chatting about the product, our website, etc. When I mentioned that Jeff and I had only been working on this since last July, the man asked me what my husband did for a living?
I hate it when that happens. Not only is it hard for me to talk about Jeff without the tears coming, but to have to explain to total strangers........I don't know if I'll get use to it. And then when they start asking the questions about ....how old was he? (51), had he been ill? ( yes, but the issues were being taken care of ) Was his death expected? ( When would it ever be expected? and how do you ever prepare for it?) How long has he been gone? ( a month and a half , but it seems like eternity already), How am I doing? Really? ( I don't know what this answer is.....depends on the moment in the day.)
I can't tell you how happy I was to come home today, get my house stuff done, feed the boys and friends and come to my room and shut the door. Just me and the dogs. This is my place of solitude. And this place with you, my dear DS friends, is the place I know I can just "be" and you all will understand.
Thank you.
Today I got my hair cut and my hairdresser asked me if I'd brought a sample of our invention to show her. I kept forgetting to bring one with me. As I was showing it to her, a man and his wife came into her shop to wait their turn for haircuts. He and I began chatting about the product, our website, etc. When I mentioned that Jeff and I had only been working on this since last July, the man asked me what my husband did for a living?
I hate it when that happens. Not only is it hard for me to talk about Jeff without the tears coming, but to have to explain to total strangers........I don't know if I'll get use to it. And then when they start asking the questions about ....how old was he? (51), had he been ill? ( yes, but the issues were being taken care of ) Was his death expected? ( When would it ever be expected? and how do you ever prepare for it?) How long has he been gone? ( a month and a half , but it seems like eternity already), How am I doing? Really? ( I don't know what this answer is.....depends on the moment in the day.)
I can't tell you how happy I was to come home today, get my house stuff done, feed the boys and friends and come to my room and shut the door. Just me and the dogs. This is my place of solitude. And this place with you, my dear DS friends, is the place I know I can just "be" and you all will understand.
Thank you.
Replies
For the longest time I couldn\'t wait until I could take my little dogs and shut myself in my bedroom for the night. Not having to do anything I didn\'t want to do it was my safe place! It still is but it does get easier. DS is still my safe place to come to when I am having a tough day everyone here understands!
Many times I feel so much the same way. Just come home to familiar surroundings and be away from the world. hang in there. Hugs, Kip.
(((hugs)))
love,
Carla
it\'s the very thing we fight agaisnt every day to keep moving forward. Hiding in a cave is always comforting and so glad to have it to run to on bad days...Hugs to you. D xoxo