Tears, tears and then more tears.....urgh
Here I am @ work this morning feeling sad and anxious. Seeing my daughter, Jennifer's name, on the list of Angel days it took my breath away. I feel like when I saw her name at the cemetery....HOW CAN THIS BE? One day, I'm able to breathe and the next day I'm not.....
A year - a f*&^in year.....how do you moms do it? I know, one day @ a time, one step, but it hurts just so DAMN BAD.....to see Jennifer's name.....my daughter, SIGH....SIGH....BREATHE.....
Vicki
A year - a f*&^in year.....how do you moms do it? I know, one day @ a time, one step, but it hurts just so DAMN BAD.....to see Jennifer's name.....my daughter, SIGH....SIGH....BREATHE.....
Vicki
Replies
It is not a list that any of should have ever found our children\'s names on... Simple as that and so very hard to totally grasp, I know my friend, I know...
I don\'t know how I do it or any of us do it?? Truly, I don\'t... Just living into this moment and one day leads into the next and then there are those year markers along the way that just take our breath away.
With you and caring dear Vicki and thank goodness we can come here to feel understood and held.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
I hurts like H---. No child should have an angel date before Mom.
Huge hugs of caring. You are not alone.
Love, Marlene
So many triggers that take our breath away. I remember the first year thinking I\'ll never make it and could have cared less if I did. All of the \"firsts\" are so hard. Even seeing their favorite food in the grocery aisle was another stab in the heart. My future was destroyed, I have no future, what will I do for the rest of my life? Each year is hard, but in a different way than the last. I didn\'t think I could ever smile again but after awhile I found myself being able to smile. Of course it\'s still hard, it will always be. I\'m sending you extra (((hugs))) and lots of love as we all remember those dark, dark days... xoxo Sharon
Seeing Colleen\'s name, or something she loved very much, feels like reality cutting my heart open again! It is asif I relive the very moment she died all over again, every time.......
I know that it has to be so hard to be at work while feeling such emptiness. I am not looking forward to December...almost a year..where did the time disappear to ..I am lifting you up..praying for peace as you try to just breathe...love Lauri
Those days paralyze us, often days before and days after.
I was reading about how to quit procrastination. It told readers to picture the task done instead of all the steps that lead to it. When you asked how we got through it, I thought about thinking forward - UNIMAGINABLE!!! Then I thought about looking back on memories, but those hurt too!
The clock ticks away while I am trying to get through it. I try not to think about it but that doesn\'t help. We just get through it minute by minute...
Sending much love and many tight hugs,
Leda
I am not sure how we do this, except one step at a time. One tiny inchworm going along. I still have a very hard time journaling and have very little recollection of the past year. Sending loving hugs
the days are getting hard for both of us,,,, my heart aches,,, I get so \"grumpy\" toward others..... it just plain hurts......... love ya!
\"How can this be?\" I ask myself the exact thing that you do, Vicki. IDK, there\'s just no answer to that question. It does hurt. I guess we just try to muddle thru it the best we can & hope to gain our footing after it\'s over. Having not gone thru an angel day yet, I\'m not sure whether that goal can be reached or not...
Love & Hugs,
Donna
With you in heart and soul, Hugs, Kathy
I\'m so sorry you are feeling this pain. It\'s not fair. We are here with you & for you, holding you tightly. We understand......Vicki
Thank you SOTH...
To this day, every time I go to the cemetery and see KALA CHRISTINE BROWN inscribed (in her own handwriting) on that cold piece of stone I trace it with my finger and say over and over......\"how can that be my child\'s name\"..... It will never make sense to my heart....
Oh Vicki, I am crying with. It is so hard bec it\'s not natural. No mother should have to feel this pain. Big hugs to you
Cindy
I get a lot of court papers that say Michelle Anne Mittner, deceased and I say God stop writing that ....have I not suffered enough so yes I do understand and it SUCKS!!!Take time for yourself, if you can it helps!!!xxoo gretcho