Teach me to feel good
total collapse. I am looking at 30000 wedding and I have nothing,zero,zip and should be dead. I am back to suicidal thoughts. it is 120 feet from the tappanzee bridge to the water. sleeping pills. I wish God would just take me tonight. just gone. too much pain. i cannot do it.
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I understand the feeling of not wanting to live. I have felt that since I was a toddler (now late 50\'s). Not telling you anything you probably do not know, but 50+ years of severe depression has taught me that if someone offers help, try it (as long as you feel safe). I do know that emotions come and go (even though my depression has been relentless. I do feel that suicide won\'t end these thoughts (darn, right?) as I feel we are eternal creations and have to \"find our way\" to our true existence. I guess this belief has kept me here. Have gone through severe financial problems as a single parent of two years ago, financial situations can change from day to day. Though it is terribly difficult, when thoughts are overwhelming, try to find someone to listen or something inspirational to read (even if only for a short time). The \"hypnotherapist\" has given good advice, even though it may not seem so when you are in the middle of severely depressed thoughts. I keep hoping to find help (it\'s been several decades of feeling suicidal). I pray that you will, too.