talking to my therapist
hi ho, went to work today and then came home.
Things went well today and I found myself hearing some voices
though and also having those undermining thoughts -
my therapist suggested it's probably due to my ambivalence
about the job - she's probably right..
we talked about the holiday and what we did -
and I sensed great sadness from her and i totally get it.
She's older and many of her loved ones are no longer here
and so it goes for me and my family - at least I see it coming- with many of those people
who gave our family a life force not here now - they linger still in the air.
Today is moving along.
I was feeling strong in my decision making process - but now
I feel weak and depressed and indecisive -
I think it has to do with something that I am coming to terms with.
Got to keep my eyes on the essentials and also the good stuff.
I think come Friday, I will buy some prosecco and have a couple
of glasses and then go to bed.
New Year's Day, Greeks usually eat a kind of sweet bread called Basilopita.
A coin in tinfoil is usually hidden within. Whoever gets the piece of bread
with the coin will have good luck for the coming year.
I doubt we will have one this year. My sister A (the oldest)
holds on to the tradition - but she is in London now - and C (my stepmom) never
got into it...so it will be in my thoughts - someday to be enjoyed again...
Things are good - Saturday is supposed to be beautiful weather
and so I'll probably go for a long walk at Old Agoura Park
and maybe make the whole trip from my apartment all the way to
my parent's place on foot (the path from my place to theirs goes past the park).
my parent's place on foot (the path from my place to theirs goes past the park).
When I started to feel low and indecisive, I thought about going out
to buy some alcohol, just to mask it all - but I don't want to avoid my feelings
I want to own my day well.
Got to beat my own drum a bit and keep engaged in life - at times it's like
I want to step into a picture - but I think that's my way of thinking - to imagine
and then set forth - I'll keep self responsible and cover my bases and feel good about that.
I already went to Starbucks for coffee and did errands around town.
Therapy was good. I wanted to hug my therapist to lift her spirits
but telemedicine only allows a picture.
Sending peace and good vibes.
Replies
Sounds like a good day with a sense of knowing how to navigate, even the complex stuff. Thats got to feel reassuring, n’est-ce pas?
Hugs~~for the losses~~Hugs for the hopes~~Hugs for the dreams~~~
what is keeping you from being the carrier on that Basilopita tradition? hunting down the family recipe could be an excuse for renewing the bonds with family members, but here's a recipe. just in case. it doesn't sound too difficult.
https://akispetretzikis.com/en/recipe/568/vasilopita-keik
Thanks Nikki, Mary Louise and Arfie!!
I am going to make it on Friday if I can borrow my Stepmom's kitchen for the afternoon.
Thanks Arfie!
Happy baking! That sounds like an awesome idea!
thanks Nikki!
Big hug Mark.... I am so sorry that you've been hearing voices and feeling low..... I'm glad that you were able to talk things out with your therapist
Good for you baking the dessert that you're hoping for.... You Go!!.... I hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day..... xo
thanks Jan!!