Taking some time off
I have not been on DS that much in the last week or two, just popping on occasionally to see what is going on with everyone. I'm pretty much going to echo Lindsay's (LMWT) journal from last week and say that its just so hard right now for me to be on DS. Having a miscarriage sucks no matter when or how it happens, but I'm struggling even more with my mc being so close to the holidays. It's been 2 months, and its still so raw. Some days are much better than others, and I know its a process and will just take time. I've been saying that 2013 is our lost year.....we pretty much are in the exact same place December 2013 as we were in December 2012....childless and without one in sight. It hurts to know we spent this year chasing our tails, going through treatments, procedures, heartache and still we have nothing to show for it. Even the one month that I spent pregnant, I didn't fully enjoy because of the anxiety and nerves of something going wrong.
There has been so much good news lately on DS, and please know I am truly happy for all of you....you are a wonderful and deserving bunch of women and you are an inspiration knowing you are kicking IF's ass. Nobody should struggle like we do. And I really hope nobody is offended when I say that your good news is only a painful reminder to me of my bad news. I am not proud of the envy and self-pity, but we all know its part of this cruel IF battle. Again, I am thrilled for the good news, and I hope it continues, but right now I'm finding it just too hard to be so active on DS.
I'll be checking in and commenting here and there, and of course I will be thinking of you all.
Happy Holidays and love to all xoxoxo
There has been so much good news lately on DS, and please know I am truly happy for all of you....you are a wonderful and deserving bunch of women and you are an inspiration knowing you are kicking IF's ass. Nobody should struggle like we do. And I really hope nobody is offended when I say that your good news is only a painful reminder to me of my bad news. I am not proud of the envy and self-pity, but we all know its part of this cruel IF battle. Again, I am thrilled for the good news, and I hope it continues, but right now I'm finding it just too hard to be so active on DS.
I'll be checking in and commenting here and there, and of course I will be thinking of you all.
Happy Holidays and love to all xoxoxo
Replies
We all painfully understand what you are going through with all the heartache and envy. We\'ve all been there. You are what\'s important, and you have to do what\'s necessary to heal and protect yourself. We will miss you, and will be here whenever you need to come back and get support. You have been a great support to me, and I hope to be able to continue to be one to you as well. I hope you find a way to enjoy yourself even a little this holiday season.
We understand. I\'m glad you are prioritizing taking care of you. I wish this had been a better year for us, and am hopeful 2014 will be a whole different ball game. Thank you for always being so supportive. I so appreciate you :)
We understand. I went through eight years of planning, watching, waiting and hoping. It takes its toll. You\'ve been through a loss.. take time to heal. The holidays will pass. 2014 will bring clarity. Wishing you the best. Big hugs.
I absolutely understand. I went through hell for 12 years of IF. It\'s never easy trying to keep your emotions in check when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward and you\'re at a stand still no matter how hard you try. Sometimes things just don\'t make sense. Make sure you take care if yourself and try your best to enjoy the holidays. The only thing worse than 12 years of not having a baby was 12 years of not enjoying family/friends/marriage/holidays and other special times. Hugs!
Thanks for all the wonderful and supportive comments! I will be around, just not as active. I can\'t go cold turkey from DS!
Completely understandable. I am so sorry you are still hurting and I hope a break will ease some of the pain in your heart. Big hugs!
Thinking of you always my friend. I totally understand. You have to take care of you. I hope that you and DH can enjoy eachother this holiday and take care of eachother. Lots of love to you. xoxo
Even with a child, I can understand your hurt. Our MC was in April and it still hurts like hell. Take the time you need, we are here if you need us.
We all need a break. The happy news can get to a person. I was there after my second miscarriage in 2010 and then my BFN in 2011 which I totally expected to culminate in a BFP. I just couldn\'t take it anymore. After a while I started to stalk a little an then I got back on.
You need to do what you need to so for your sanity. No one is judging you here. Please take care!
Oh I have to add in 2010 I was soooo depressed. Life just couldn\'t make me happy. I based everything I was on my ability to become a mother. I felt little joy in anything. It took a lot out of me and it did take time to get myself back to a healthy place.
Taking a step back and a bit of a breather has been good for me! But I am one of those, \"I am bored at work, lets see whats going on in DS land\" kind of people. So I have come on now and again to take a break at work, but I am still not on nearly as much as before. It does really help. And I know exactly what you are feeling as my mc was Dec 1 last year but bad news started right before thanksgiving, so being so close to the holidays makes it all that much more raw I think. Thinking of you always and hope that you can find some peace and enjoy the holidays a bit. I am here for you if you need to vent. Love you! XOXO
I understand how you feel. I think we have all felt that way at one point and the numbers of BFP has been really high lately. Please don\'t feel bad about your feeling, IF is a bitch and makes us go through more than we should.
I will be thinking of you and hope you can have better days soon.
hugs
Sorry you\'re still grieving your loss and the holidays are so hard!! Take the time you need, we will be here when you are ready to be active again! Big hugs!! XO
Totally understand, I felt the same way after both miscarriages. Always wondered why it wasn\'t my turn. I hope it\'s your turn soon.
I\'ve been there time and time again over the last few years. And the holidays were always especially hard for me, especially since my first loss would had a December 9h due date. Take time to try and regroup and relax. Xo