Taking solace by ‘being there’
My Dad came down with a head cold and fever yesterday. We don't know if it's covid but he got tested and we're waiting for the results. He did get vaccinated so we're hopeful that this event will pass with the byproduct of his immune system being strengthened. He's 83 but a tough strong guy. Still the whole family has him on our minds. Last night I wondered what to do and I just decided to be there for both my Stepmom and Dad. My stepmom is seriously strong but I know she needs and wants the support so I am here at their house downstairs watching the olympics while she is upstairs taking care of him. I'm here for them should they need me to run an errand or just help out around the house. It's funny but at times I get nervous when I am around others but I'm not now. I feel grounded by the importance of being available and a kind of sentry just being responsible and 'at the ready.'
I'm trying to learn from it. I know in the past I may have numbed out these nervous feelings with food or alcohol but I don't need it right now. I see it for what it was whereas before I didn't see that so clearly.
I can't wait to go home and see Blue. I love that little guy and I don't like leaving him alone for a while. I left the tv on for him... hopefully that distraction will ease his time alone.
This morning I ran errands for myself and them and now I am here.. watching the Olys.
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It’s NOT covid!!! Thanks god!!
it's later this same day and I am home now. I know this may sound odd but I find myself worshipping the god of
'doing what you're supposed to do and being responsible.' It's just a thought and a feeling I am holding onto
that I find strengthening and comforting and it also seems helpful to keep things in perspective. My mind isn't flailing upward
and outward - especially because it's the weekend when I have unstructured time (you all have seen the ramblings
I get up to then) and I am able to also think about - in a small way about what to do in my downtime.
I feel grounded by it - and at ease.
Blue is meowing like crazy - I need to pay more attention to him since I was
away for most of the day. I think tomorrow I'll go to the gym...my body is getting older and all I know is that a body in motion stays in motion....that's the way I want it!
peace and happy Saturday!
M
Good for you!
thanks Mid!
it's so crazy, in my downtime during the weekend it is so tempting to try
and understand it all, the mysteriousness of life et al...something in me wants to spin
but I am grateful to recognize
to stick with my responsibilities and the here and now - by doing things that
keep me occupied, like going for a walk, or doing errands, doing chores and playing with Blue.
I'd like to think about fun but maybe that will come.
Finding joy in the mundane parts of life are just as important in finding excitement in life’s thrills.
In my current apartment, my favorite winter joy is opening all the blinds and curtains in one room and reading as the snow falls outside the many windows. Like living in a snowglobe.
When the weather is nice, walking is an amazing thing. I love love love my walks. So many different places to walk to or commute to and then get out and walk. My meditations.
Enjoy the rest of this weekend, Mark!
Also, glad the test was negative!!!
Thanks Nikki!
I've been looking for folks like your Dad to gain inspiration from. I will be 84 when my youngest foster daughter graduates from HS. I never had any desire, whatsoever, to see my 84th birthday, but it is starting to feel imperative that I do so. The COVID experience has let me know that there are plenty of 84 year olds **out there**, but? ? ? The few I've found are feeble and/or hiding behind Coronaville rules. Well, mask it all! ! !
thanks arfie!