Taking it One Day at a Time!

Wow,  I havn't purged today, well I'm feeling scared, I was working out today and I was feeling pain in my heart, I don't want to die. I have so much to live for, I want to stop, seriously. I know I love food too much, I can't stop at one portion, but tonight I stopped, very very hard since for a long time I have been purging everynight after dinner and then would feel hungry and end up eating carbs and head to bed.  I'm taking it one day at a time. I was watching a ED gal on youtube and couldn't believe how much she weighed and when she dropped her robe how she was nothing but bones, I litterly cried for her, sometimes I'd wished I was the oppisite and could starve myself but theres no way I could be that thin. I need to see more of this for me to realize it's not worth it. I can do this. It's been a year since I quit smoking, and why did I quit smoking, I don't want to die, well this ED is killing me as well, so I can do this.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. AMEN
Till tomorrow.