taking a day off

Although I've already taken 6 days off over this breakup, I need one today. I need a day for me, to nurture myself, to bring organization back into my life. I am going for a reiki treatment today--the last one relaxed me greatly. I may get my hair cut so it's not the frizzy mess it has been--or maybe a pedicure. I want to work on getting the apt. in shape. I've changed things, but there is still organizing to do, messes to clean up--part of me if afraid that if I clean up the mess the emptiness will be more apparent, but part of me knows that the mess is the depression speaking, and cleaning up will be fighting that. I want to spend time working with the kittens and earnning their trust and love. I may go feed the ducks--that always makes me smile, and I need to smile. I am going to try and be positive today. I am going to tell myself that I am strong, and worthy of love, and will find it again. I am going to try and understand and forgive him. I am seeing my therapist tonight--I hope we can finally get to talking about what's going on in depth. I can do this. I will be OK