TGIF!!!!
It's Friday again! The Dr. appt. took a long time! I had the icky p-test, EKG, chest x-ray, and lab work. Now I have to get a mamogram and a colonoscopy along with seeing an ENT. As I was leaving I saw my high school sweetheart helping his mom with her wheelchair. I started to say hello and decided not to. Now, I wish I had. We were together 2 yrs. in high school and a little bit after that. I broke up with him and broke his heart. I have only seen him a couple of other times, at reunions, since 1974. That was so long ago but I have really fond memories. Guess I just wasn't supposed to talk to him. His life, as far as I know, has turned out pretty well. He married a beautiful girl several months after we broke up. (That was the problem, he was ready for marriage...I wasn't) They had a girl and a boy and a few years ago renewed their vows. Darn.....I really do wish I would've said hello. I always liked his mom, too. I think I am just meloncholy (sp?) tonight. I am mad at Craig. He can be so hateful in the tone of his voice. I told him to go to hell. This is the 2nd time in our 24 year marriage I have said that. I am just in no mood! After that we watched the movie "Something's Gotta Give". I had never seen it and it was a really good movie but it made me kind of sad, too. I miss that "falling in love feeling". Craig commented a time or two on the movie but I only answered him when he asked me a direct question. When he got ready for bed he asked, all nice, what my plans were for tomorrow. I wanted to ask him why the hell he cared but decided just to tell him I have none except my Mom coming by in the morning. That is the truth and I don't have any energy for anything but an honest, regular answer. I think being mad is doing me good though. It has been a break from intense grief. Peaceful wishes to all who are reading.
Replies
Glad you got a reprive from your grief even if it was only in being angry. Don\'t hang on too long because being mad takes alot of energy. Enjoy the time with your mom. Next time you see your old flame, you\'ll know to say hello. Love Robin
I hope you find some peace and can get past some of the anger with your husband. My husband has been sick and can be very mean also. I am a very easygoing person, so I don\'t stay mad too long. But I feel the same way and want to say what do you care. So I know where your coming from. Things just are not the same. I guess I am trying to do what I am supposed to do versus what I want to do. I hope you two get to a better place. I hope that for me and my husband also. Keep writing. Love Joanne
Use the anger to you advantage. I find I can accomplish the most amazing things whenI\'m mad and you are right it is a break from grief. Remember men and women grieve differntly and just tell yourself, that\'s part of his way. Hope all the tests have a good outcome and that you are and will be fine. To bad about the old friend but you\'re right it was meant to happen. Enjoy your weekend, you will be two days closer to the end of school. Love and hugs cathy
It is kinda funny that we feel it necessary to replace our sadness with anger or anger with sadness...all of our emotions are right on the surface...whatever they are...I do the exact same thing! Maybe hubby realizes that he triggered something very deep in you and that was \"his way\" of apologizing? Feel what you feel...I have decided that is the best for me. Love and hugs...Karen
Sounds like Craig is trying to appologise and this is his way. He probably knows he was a mean person at the time. Men don\'t do appologies very well. Love and Hugs.