symptoms
There was a post in a discussion area regarding sharing our symptoms, I wrote:
lack of motivation isolation sleeping more and then insomnia from sleeping through the day avoidance self loathing anxiousness tearfulness apathy lack of appetite hopelessness and helplessness probably a bit paranoid about what people are thinking of me guiltloss of interest
Somehow, seeing how I feel in black and white helps me to recognize that yes, I am still depressed and no, I can't just will myself out of it. It is real. It's not in my head. If I struggle with the fact of my depression, how can others not?
I am so lucky every day to have the support, patience, caring and love of my fiance. I don't know what I would do without him. I guess I wouldn't make it through each day. He has confidence that I will get better. And right now, since I don't trust myself, I'm trusting him. And my doctor and therapist. They believe in the power of medicine and therapy. They believe that though I've been down before, I've managed to get out before, so I will again. Right now it's hard to believe it.
I am lucky to have good friends and family who understand what I'm going through and who love and support me. I have seen that many are not so lucky. I just have to remind myself that I'm not alone either in this depression or in this world. I am lucky in many ways.
lack of motivation isolation sleeping more and then insomnia from sleeping through the day avoidance self loathing anxiousness tearfulness apathy lack of appetite hopelessness and helplessness probably a bit paranoid about what people are thinking of me guiltloss of interest
Somehow, seeing how I feel in black and white helps me to recognize that yes, I am still depressed and no, I can't just will myself out of it. It is real. It's not in my head. If I struggle with the fact of my depression, how can others not?
I am so lucky every day to have the support, patience, caring and love of my fiance. I don't know what I would do without him. I guess I wouldn't make it through each day. He has confidence that I will get better. And right now, since I don't trust myself, I'm trusting him. And my doctor and therapist. They believe in the power of medicine and therapy. They believe that though I've been down before, I've managed to get out before, so I will again. Right now it's hard to believe it.
I am lucky to have good friends and family who understand what I'm going through and who love and support me. I have seen that many are not so lucky. I just have to remind myself that I'm not alone either in this depression or in this world. I am lucky in many ways.
Replies
I wonder what it is about Depression that leaves us all wondering if we really really have it. I too, have to check the symptoms every so often, to see if what I am feeling is real. The pain is as real, if not more so, than any physical ailment. So I am wondering what gives? Must be a symptom,
Should be on the checklist.
Maybe we just get used to feeling this way.....depression is kind of insidious in its onset......so we forget what normal feels like.
Hmmmmmmm, as usual, glad to read your journal entry. Its like you write mine for me, they ring so true.
Thanks, again
To see it down in black and white does make it real.
We have to remind ourselves that it isnt our fault that we are this way. That as long as we are doing what is in our power to help ourselves then that is GOOD ENOUGH!
Thanks for reading and being there with me in our battle. It is a battle, after all. It is definitely part of the depression that makes us question ourselves and our feelings all the time. It\'s the horrible truth, but glad seeing it in black and white helps remind us that we are fighting something that is real.