symptoms

There was a post in a discussion area regarding sharing our symptoms, I wrote:
lack of motivation isolation sleeping more and then insomnia from sleeping through the day avoidance self loathing anxiousness tearfulness apathy lack of appetite hopelessness and helplessness probably a bit paranoid about what people are thinking of me guiltloss of interest
Somehow, seeing how I feel in black and white helps me to recognize that yes, I am still depressed and no, I can't just will myself out of it. It is real. It's not in my head. If I struggle with the fact of my depression, how can others not?
I am so lucky every day to have the support, patience, caring and love of my fiance. I don't know what I would do without him. I guess I wouldn't make it through each day. He has confidence that I will get better. And right now, since I don't trust myself, I'm trusting him. And my doctor and therapist. They believe in the power of medicine and therapy. They believe that though I've been down before, I've managed to get out before, so I will again. Right now it's hard to believe it.  
I am lucky to have good friends and family who understand what I'm going through and who love and support me. I have seen that many are not so lucky. I just have to remind myself that I'm not alone either in this depression or in this world. I am lucky in many ways.