sustenance
Oh, I think I have figured it out.
Why I seek an image or a standard to sustain me or to hold onto when I try and do something.. It is my nature. I am not so strong
at times and I seek something to hold onto, whether a rationale, or a sense of standard or the image that I am like something or someone else. Doing my art has been too painful because it was about sticking my head up above the water line to produce
something independently, and was unconsciously my limit to my comfort and confidence.
I know I am not strong at times.
Yet the doors to my basic emotional life are open now.
I realize that I felt so comfortable in Oklahoma because I was among men with a similar gentleness
and sensitivity. I know I am like them and maybe that’s why I thought about painting when there and at the same time, thinking about them, we all have to make our lives.
When I am in touch with strength I can accomplish a lot.
I also know we may aspire to perfect things - perfect relationships
perfect results - even before we start.... the 'pining' for that shouldn't get in the way
of our doing stuff and accomplishing stuff -
better to enjoy the process..
though I secretly want to create something my family praises me for proudly -
I know I've got to make my own road - and maybe... it's the happiness
found in the process is where I 'can go mentally' for my sustenance.
Replies
Marky have you moved??... I know you mentioned something about going to another state but I wasn't sure what it was all about... Moving is HUGE with regards to stress
I'm sorry if you had to you were really just starting to feel at home there.... Big hug.... xo
I haven’t moved, just spinning.
On the more wisdom front, I’ve realized I personalize things here at work. The way people talk to you here is different from California. I’ve realized it’s not me and constructively iI’ll use the focal point of God to carry me through. It helps a great deal to manage this way and I find myself also appreciating the good connections I do have now and then. Can’t be blind to that.
Amen to that sweetie...xo
oh my. . . how my grasshopper has grown! ! !
personally, i find using that focal point of god to carry me through to be the best anti-anxiety med i've found yet. i doesn't need to know it all. i doesn't need to be prepared for every contingency life throws my way. i only need to open up my heart and listen for the quiet voice.
Thanks beautiful ladies!!