Survival together
My trip showed me my Aunts have their dominating control over the family for survival. It was intense!Now I’m back home to ‘surviving together’ the monastic way!
After therapy yesterday, though, I feel dead and frozen. So much to protect yourself from in life, I don’t know how people keep an interest in life and others. But I’m motivated to keep doing my work and support friends on DS and here at the monastery. This site is yet another place I’m finding we’ve got another version of 'surviving together!'
I'm grateful!
Replies
for this twisted sister, it is far easier for me to stay interested in life and in others when i resist my cultural training to stereotype and pigeonhole which will reduce the components of life into predictable digits on the abacus.
yo! ! ! aunti madea! ! ! which administration are you providing disaster relief for today?
yo! ! ! cousin who calls auntie madea, "mom." pass the popcorn.
family is not about right or wrong. it is about being complete, family dominators and all.
On several occasions, I've heard you use the word "surviving," as in we are all trying to "survive" this life. In my opinion, that word has a very negative connotation, which results in viewing life through a negative lens. What are your thoughts about the word? What would happen if you viewed life as something to be enjoyed, cherished, explored - rather than survived?
I'm not trying to be a Susie Sunshine here, and I totally get that life is HARD. But if I personally went around viewing my life as an everyday struggle for survival, I would be miserable. I'm just wondering whether a change of mindset would help....
I hope you don't take this as criticism, only something to ponder.
Hugs.
Thanks Arfie and Judy!
I kid of view the word of survival as motivating and grounding. I can be very high flying and untethered when I don’t remember that aspect of life. It’s not meant to be harsh, it just gives me an inspiration and grounding and commonality.
Thanks Judy, I really appreciate your thoughts on this. Always tell me what you’re honestly thinking. I very much appreciate it!
You too Arfie!! :-)
If the word "survival" is motivating and grounding for you, that's great! Thanks for the explanation!
:-)
thanks again arfie also - I'm pretty sure my illness has made me slow to catch onto the dynamics of certain relationships.
Not that I'll ever know it all - but I am glad I am on the learning school train -I am so grateful to be where I am.
it's weird guys - i feel very weak and detached from myself and strength
I want to go running to a safe person - is this giving too much power
and imposing too much on them? We're each imperfect -
shall I just think about god - and the icons?
do we all at some point have to resolved how we are going to reassure ourselves
through life's tribulations and moods - when we don't feel strong or directed?
I think this can be a gender thing. (I say can be bc not always true.)
I have known a lot of guys who have excessive relationships and girlfriends who are serial daters bc they run to things they can’t find in themselves.
Well, it could be said for any genders or orientation really. Just remembering my own experience…..
Yet on the flip side of the coin, only being comfortable alone can be a tricky situation when you need to have fellow humans beside you as it is inevitable there will be hard times in life that you cannot go alone!
So there is a balance. A mega balancing act.
I really think human communication and distrust and all the f$&@ed up games has been turned into competitive sport that is thoroughly unkind. Therefore, i just try to find kindness because that is the only way I feel comfortable. With sincerity.
Hope you find some sturdy footing that works for YOU.
I find people that are overbearing and controlling can suck the life out of you
I'm glad that it's nice to be home sweetie
I bet Bluey is happy
Life can be really hard at times for sure
I think for us beepers it can depend on how we're doing mentally at a given time
I hope that you feel a liitle more relaxed soon Mark...xo
Thanks Nikki and Jan! Just about to head home. Peaceful night wishes.
Have a good reconnect home.
(Also, I had been replying to your last comment you had left and not the main, for clarity purposes.)
personally, i have come to listen closely to that craving to run for a safe person. i am starting to believe it is one of the healthier cravings in my psycho closet. it is fear of the times i have crashed and burned with people i thought were safe which keep me from trusting the craving, but the cravings are intense enough to keep me trying. it was my therapy peer support group which helped me learn the social skills needed to fill the craving in healthy ways.
i, too, find a great deal of grounding value in the word, "survival." i doesn't have to be a superstar or even pass a pop quiz. i need only survive so i can learn another day. the pressure relief can be euphoric.
Thanks so much Nikki and Jan!!