surviving
I used to come to this site several times a day. Somewhere along the way I think I have lost myself, my ability to express my feelings on paper. Life is a whirlwind of dr appts and dialysis treatments. I often fight depression, its a wonder I am sane!
I guess I am doing ok, Steve will be on dialysis for a year in September. He has been to what seems like hell would be like. Chemotherapy and dialysis is very hard! He is finally finally getting a little better. He will be scanned August 5th to see if the Votrient is working for him. He is tolerating it really well. So many things going on in our life, but we continue to serve an amazing God. 16 years and counting with renal cell carcinoma! A record of sorts I suppose.
I pray all of my old friends are doing ok. I think of you often.
Love to each of you,
Wanda
I guess I am doing ok, Steve will be on dialysis for a year in September. He has been to what seems like hell would be like. Chemotherapy and dialysis is very hard! He is finally finally getting a little better. He will be scanned August 5th to see if the Votrient is working for him. He is tolerating it really well. So many things going on in our life, but we continue to serve an amazing God. 16 years and counting with renal cell carcinoma! A record of sorts I suppose.
I pray all of my old friends are doing ok. I think of you often.
Love to each of you,
Wanda
Replies
Dearest Wanda, I am so, so, so pleased to hear from you! I too think of you very often, and send prayers your way whenever I can.
It\'s very good to read that Steve is tolerating the Votrient. I understand your reluctance to call 16 years with RCC a record - it\'s not a record that any of us ever thought we\'d try and win, nor ever wanted to. But, here you both are. Oh my dear Wanda, I just hope that life has its light moments, and blessings, and that you find time and energy to delight in still being together.
You are so very strong - and I know you\'d say that you just have no choice but to be so, but you are. 16 years is a long, hard old road, and I hope you have some time to nourish and care for yourself.
I will be thinking of you on August 5 - with all my love and prayers -
Meriel
Wanda!
I don\'t want to say that Steve is a miracle, but you know what? He truly is.
Sixteen years is incredible. Tell me what the doctors say about this man!!
I want to know. My darling Tommy pioneered the Votrient. He was on the trial at Sloan Kettering for that drug and it did stop the progression for a short time. But then, it began to have side effects that were not tolerable, and then, and then, and then. And you know the final outcome.
Count those blessings daily - I know you do.
You both look great in spite of the hard regimen.
All my best to you.
Gloria
Dearest Wanda,
It has been a long time to hear from you. I know your road is a very difficult one. I can\'t believe Steve has been on dialysis for a year. He is quite a fighter as are you. The number of years you and Steve have been coping with this awful cancer is beyond what I can imagine. My husband survived 8 and a half years and I saw the dramatic effects the strain was having on him and me. Please try to take care of yourself my dear Wanda. Steve is doing everything he can to survive, but are you doing the same? I can\'t help but remember poor Becca who compromised her health and it took her way too early. I will keep Steve and you in my thoughts and prayers. I often think about you both and hope with all my heart that Steve will get a great result with this new drug. Love, Linda
My dear sweet Wanda, I have thought of you and Steve often, y\'all are amoung many in my prayers. I worry that you are not taking care enough of you. I believe that we are brought our journeys for a reason, even though we may never know why, however it may simply be for us to have known each other where we otherwise would have never met. For that I am thankful.
Much luv from Texas,
Annette
Good Morning Precious Wanda,
What a joy to hear from you. We all understand how busy your life is, but sure have missed you!
Wow! 16 years has to be an all time record with RCC. He should be written up in all the medical journals....and you too, my dear friend. Being a caretaker can be even more difficult than the patient. What a trooper and dedicated wife you are!
Wanda, it\'s okay to feel a bit depressed. You both have been on a long, long journey....and it has drained you emotionally and physically. Please talk with your doctor about it. He can add, adjust, or change your medications. I sure had to do that, as did many here.
The picture you posted on FB at the 50th Anniversary of your friends was fabulous. I was amazed at how wonderful you both look. God is truly awesome! No doubt y\'alls 48th anniversary was very special. What a blessing to have the love of your life that long!
Thank you for taking the time to journal. We all love you and Steve dearly, and have been so anxious to hear from you.
Always know that you can express all your feelings of anxiety, fear, depression, etc. with us. Most have \"been there\", and totally relate.
Keep on keeping on. You both are AMAZING!!!
I\'m always here for you, Wanda...and love you very much.
Sending huge and prayers your way,
Ingrid
Your comments bring tears to my eyes. I will make every effort to post more often. I think of each of you with love and support. For so long I tried to help you and I will take your encouragement and support.
Steve will have scans Tuesday to see if the Votrient is working. One day at a time and we thank God each day for it. He gives us the Grace to carry on.
I love you all so much!!!
Wanda
Wanda,
I too have not been on the site much in these last months. I have a message from Ingrid which I must answer as well. Still on the Sutent or I should say off and on the Sutent. Depends upon my blood counts. I had my 3rd round of transfusions a couple of months ago. That wouldn\'t be on my \"to do\" list but the women are wonderful in the infusfusion center at my Hospital. It was a former CDU which they\'ve converted to an unfusion area. 6 beds total or a recliner if you prefer. They do no handle chemo there only transfusions or meds by IV. Their great happy attitudes make things so much easier. My side effects from the Sutent are still the same. Occasional constipation and mostly fatigue. I\'m a month overdue having my CT and MRI. Have been having a terrible time with the only family I have here in this state, my daughter and her husband.After 15 months of their having in in their pasture to fix (I bought it from him) they sneaked it back into my driveway during the night a couple of weeks ago. I walked outside and saw it and thought it was a surprise until I saw how filthy it was and then I knew. He (master mechanic) hadn\'t touched it in all this time. I had been fed a bunch of lies when I asked how it was coming. 15 months!! As you well know, stress is an unwanted factor when you are battling
or giving care with someone with Cancer. My primary became so upset about what they were doing to me he talked me into seeing a therapist here in town. She\'s been at it, her own practice, as well as mental health in general for 30 years. It was the best thing I\'ve ever done. Wanda take some time for yourself, even if it is an hour a week and see someone. If you don\'t care for the first person then try another. Medicare and supplemental cover it. But you definitely need YOUR time to vent. My therapist is also an RN so she very attuned to the results of the scans and blood draws. Because of my not being able to get to my hospital in the next town, my cardiologist set up home health for me for my PT/INR which is always all over the charts. So my oncologist uses the same company to order my blood drawers every two weeks. My therapist is very well known in this part of my state and she asked on FB if there was anyone who could get me back and forth to my appointments in the next town. The results were amazing. This Thursday I
go to 2 doctors appts. and then next week, hopefully my tests and my oncologist. The director of the local charity here was on her FB list and called her and asked if she had been referring to me. Under the circumstances she did say yes and the director called me to tell me that whenever anyone drives me anywhere their charity would provide a $40 gas voucher. Isn\'t God wonderful?? I had to hire someone to take me for my last transfusions and that person charged me $80.00 which I had to borrow to pay her. The group on FB are working on getting me a vehicle of some sort to have. Nothing fancy, just reliable is all I want. I\'m sure that will take some time, if ever. I\'m just so thankful that there are people out there that are willing to help others. Enough of me. That all started with telling you about the thereapist idea for you.
Tomorrow is the big day for scans for Steve and I pray with every ounce of
my being that the results will be positive. Love you both and pray for you. Andrea
It\'s okay Wanda....We love you.. Post as often as you can. You\'ll never be forgotten, no matter how long it is...
Gentle hugs.. Rachel