Surgery update and muttering

Been 3 weeks since my back surgery. Going back to the surgeon tomorrow morning if i don't chicken out. If he says ok I return to work on Friday. I have used all my sick time up and my wife wants me out of the house, so I guess I should hope to return to work. But I don't. One good thing would come of it I would be able to get back on my normal chat hours if they ever get chat working again. Why do I stress out over it I have no control. What I want is meaningless anyway, I wish I could say my role in life has been just as meaningless. Not the judgement to be for me I am sure of only that.