Suooprt Group Notes from 6-6-2013
At my support group, our facilitator this month was my totally cool PSY doc! Dr. Steve Wall. Our topic was trauma and its impact on eating. I hope I can capture the main points!
Ya know how we're always told to think outta the box? Well, for this to work, you have to think of being in the box :)
So, imagine a big box, in the box is the healthy place to be... Around the outsides of the box you'll find DENIAL & TRAUMA, neither place do we want to be... So, we have to find a way to get ourselves into the healthy box... where we deal with our emotions and the trauma we have experienced in a healthy way so we can make positive decisions.
Many of us used food as a tool to soothe ourselves, and it works! If it didn't work we would not have kept doing it. Of course it is a short term solution to a long term problem, but it works.
Food is always there for us, it never lets us down... we can count on it. Never ending supply...
He told a story of when he worked at a tire store when he was a kid... and he could not get the lug nuts off some truck. The boss told him to get the fire wrench to take them off... Turns out this fire wrench was a blow torch! His boss showed him that it cuts the lug nuts right off!! Problem solved!!
However, new problem created... now the lug nut was broken and has to be replaced!!
Eating, sure it works! Soothes us... it works every time.... but at what cost???
Same for drinking, smoking, etc...
So, what do we do....? Well, if someone came along and dumped a big pile of crap in your yard... and there was no way to get it out of there, what would you do? You gotta LEARN TO GROW ROSES!
So... when you are feeling stuff and want to stuff it.... STOP and ground yourself. This may mean sitting down and putting both feet firmly on the ground... checking in with each and every body part... feel your breathing... listen to it, listen to your body, your heart... Let yourself feel the emotions going on.Meditate... Find your center and your peace. Use a word, the same word, every time... say it over and over. In time, when you are feeling out of sorts, then just saying the word will help get you back to your center as your body is use to hearing/saying this word when you are grounding yourself.
We must learn to be ok being with our thoughts and feelings... It takes practice and for many, seeing a counselor.
We should work thru are past 'junk'... telling our stories, talking about the ugly stuff in our lives/pasts... When we talk about the ugly stuff, WE are naming the monster AND our own story!
He talked about a little boy who said there was a monster under his bed. He asked the little boy all about the monster, how old was it, what color, size, teeth, did it have a wife, babies? Etc. Then after much conversation about the monster... he finally asked, whats the monsters name? ....as soon as the boy named the monster... it went away. Once he named it, he had control... it was "his" monster and no longer had control to hurt him!
This is what we must do... name our monsters!
Misc tidbits:
Changing habits is like un-knitting a sweater~
Our brains neuron-pathways (engrams) fire along the lines our habits have created. We must pull the string, un-knitting the sweater.... and then knit a new one, creating new pathways for new habits.
"They operate on your guts.. NOT your head!"
"Get in the box!" :)
"My undesirable habits took years to form, its going to take time to re-form them!"
"Learn to feel your feelings instead of eat them"
....try to understand why eating became something other than fuel...
Authors on recovering from Trauma: John Briere PhD
Ya know how we're always told to think outta the box? Well, for this to work, you have to think of being in the box :)
So, imagine a big box, in the box is the healthy place to be... Around the outsides of the box you'll find DENIAL & TRAUMA, neither place do we want to be... So, we have to find a way to get ourselves into the healthy box... where we deal with our emotions and the trauma we have experienced in a healthy way so we can make positive decisions.
Many of us used food as a tool to soothe ourselves, and it works! If it didn't work we would not have kept doing it. Of course it is a short term solution to a long term problem, but it works.
Food is always there for us, it never lets us down... we can count on it. Never ending supply...
He told a story of when he worked at a tire store when he was a kid... and he could not get the lug nuts off some truck. The boss told him to get the fire wrench to take them off... Turns out this fire wrench was a blow torch! His boss showed him that it cuts the lug nuts right off!! Problem solved!!
However, new problem created... now the lug nut was broken and has to be replaced!!
Eating, sure it works! Soothes us... it works every time.... but at what cost???
Same for drinking, smoking, etc...
So, what do we do....? Well, if someone came along and dumped a big pile of crap in your yard... and there was no way to get it out of there, what would you do? You gotta LEARN TO GROW ROSES!
So... when you are feeling stuff and want to stuff it.... STOP and ground yourself. This may mean sitting down and putting both feet firmly on the ground... checking in with each and every body part... feel your breathing... listen to it, listen to your body, your heart... Let yourself feel the emotions going on.Meditate... Find your center and your peace. Use a word, the same word, every time... say it over and over. In time, when you are feeling out of sorts, then just saying the word will help get you back to your center as your body is use to hearing/saying this word when you are grounding yourself.
We must learn to be ok being with our thoughts and feelings... It takes practice and for many, seeing a counselor.
We should work thru are past 'junk'... telling our stories, talking about the ugly stuff in our lives/pasts... When we talk about the ugly stuff, WE are naming the monster AND our own story!
He talked about a little boy who said there was a monster under his bed. He asked the little boy all about the monster, how old was it, what color, size, teeth, did it have a wife, babies? Etc. Then after much conversation about the monster... he finally asked, whats the monsters name? ....as soon as the boy named the monster... it went away. Once he named it, he had control... it was "his" monster and no longer had control to hurt him!
This is what we must do... name our monsters!
Misc tidbits:
Changing habits is like un-knitting a sweater~
Our brains neuron-pathways (engrams) fire along the lines our habits have created. We must pull the string, un-knitting the sweater.... and then knit a new one, creating new pathways for new habits.
"They operate on your guts.. NOT your head!"
"Get in the box!" :)
"My undesirable habits took years to form, its going to take time to re-form them!"
"Learn to feel your feelings instead of eat them"
....try to understand why eating became something other than fuel...
Authors on recovering from Trauma: John Briere PhD
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