Sunday Sundae

I was thinking about a bunch of things this morning, all of it swimming and evolving in my mind as I helped conduct service today. The priest Fr. Ioannis came back and he always takes the 1st position in services though he is still learning. I am there to coach and teach him as well.
He is highly esteemed. He's a nice guy but at times has a hot head but he's nice. I was amidst, or in between, them there..the sister who assists us behind the iconostasis this morning as well as Father Ioannis as service was conducted. They both seemed to have some pushy kind of energy about them. "Giving attitude " it could br called " or just pushing outward. I didn't take it on as put downs but it was like a power me down here and there, reacting with pride and harshness of dismissal towards me at times when I got involved. I didn't take it on but wondered about it in the scope of human nature and behavior. It made me look at relationships across the board. I know I need to self define but It also seemed like everyone is pushing forward or outward emotionally in a way. This thought also helped me accept and have a greater compassion for my time with adults who are learning or working at a project. It's a process, a kind of dance and the good is the result at the end of the day, that things got done, that he was learning and the whole communication for conducting service was effective. Peoples' agitation which we give each other and share is a dynamic and a journey and not necessarily a destination if that makes sense. It's the human reality. So I pieced together some self esteem after realizing that there and after the morning at work too. I noticed a great deal of people were pushing forward emotionally outside of service, at least in part in many different ways and it seemed to help me quickly organize my thoughts about them as a result (my reactions) and put them in a mental mail slot like a piece of mail in a healthful way. I could see how some have a common ground when pushing back with each other as well. To establish a kind of platform a grace but that's just another way of dealing with the nuanced wonderful reality of adult relationships. I'm thinking about someone in particular but I'm starting to see the boundary for me is different kind of but such is life. I do push forward emotionally at times and maybe a lot. I try to keep an eye on it. Maybe I need to think more on this. I guess it all just started to make sense to me as I no longer saw myself or my personal relationships that Ive had as a kind of wholey other thing. 

Again these thoughts also helped me see this within myself and have compassion.

Gotta go, have a good night