sunday nov 28,2010 i am sad again

i dont know wht lately asspecially have been waking up in mornig or whenever, and i have such a heavy heart, dont know how im holding it up. im so sad and melincally, i feel so old. i wish i would have taken better care when younger. going to be 50 next yr in feb. guess its time for the old midlife, i hope crisis. unfortunatly, i have no money for a crisis. i mostly am sad. i wish i could cry, havnt for many yrs. if i could cry nd get some of this poisen out, maybe i might feel better. i am not a cryer, used to be, but used them all up. have my forcefield up so i dont get too bakly hurt. i realy want to feel something besides pain and sadness. i see my family cry and then they feel better at leaste a litle. i want to cry so bad, just cant get it started. i know it sounds funny, but im hurting and i dont know how to make it better. why cant i be normal? i would give anything to feel like i belong or there was a place for me or a purpose. just going threw the motions, not very well i might add. ok, moore later. maybe in better mood.....

Replies

annieheart
annieheart

Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed.Dont be to tuff on yourself.you need to be kind to yourself.treat yourself.you worry about everyone else.take care hun.I hope things look up in the morning.