SUCKY SUCKY SUCKY
My ex got fired from his job and feels bad about staying at his friend's house where he has no money to pay rent, so he's staying here. He is an utter dick to me. I try to kick him out and he says he has legal rights to stay here until our divorce is finalized, which is unfortunately true according to the police. Our children are ill with a respiratory bug, of which I just took my two year old to the emergency room for, and he's all on my case about his car breaking down and how he wants to go to school now.... I told him the least practical thing he could do was buy an '87 Porsche that his kids can't get into with their car seats and winter's coming. He turned it into a fat joke and said I'm the one who can't fit in his car. I'm sick right now, though it's mostly a cold that's feeling worse by the moment. I'm freaked because the state hasn't come through with any money in what's been 6 weeks, my car needs repairs, his car has completely stopped running, and my car insurance will soon be cancelled if I don't get any money soon. I'm fucked. It's the last two weeks of the semester, I have finals to study for, I have to get up at 3 am to get out the door by 5am and get home at 2pm to him unloading on me that I messed up our oldest child and made him hyperactive somehow.
In addition, my son's teacher wants him evaluated for Autism. Talk about a punch in the gut. My son is so beautiful, really advanced vocab, toilet trained appropriately, but makes these noises all the time to drown out people talking and covers his ears a lot.... My son said he's having nightmares every night (he's 5), like the Kool-aid guy killing everyone because they didn't like his Kool_Aid... I tell this to the ex and say we cannot let him watch these things that are too mature for him to understand and keep things PG. That night he fails to put them to bed, lets them fall asleep to the TV...what's on? 1000 ways to die!!!! I walked in to some guy getting chopped up by a bladed robot. It doesn't occur to him that these things seep into their dreams by being in the room.
The final punch in the gut, he tells me I should get it over and kill myself.... that no one would notice or care. I hate to admit that beyond my children and parents he's probably right, but that he feels he can even talk to me that way just sends me in this spiralling hatred. If our son needs help the last guy I trust to be an adult is him. He's such a big fucking baby that I'm utterly disgusted. As I'm writing this I hear him swearing at him and know he doesn't get what it is to be a child, he's so consumed with his own bitterness and rage that he just pisses all over innocence. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the next few weeks.
In addition, my son's teacher wants him evaluated for Autism. Talk about a punch in the gut. My son is so beautiful, really advanced vocab, toilet trained appropriately, but makes these noises all the time to drown out people talking and covers his ears a lot.... My son said he's having nightmares every night (he's 5), like the Kool-aid guy killing everyone because they didn't like his Kool_Aid... I tell this to the ex and say we cannot let him watch these things that are too mature for him to understand and keep things PG. That night he fails to put them to bed, lets them fall asleep to the TV...what's on? 1000 ways to die!!!! I walked in to some guy getting chopped up by a bladed robot. It doesn't occur to him that these things seep into their dreams by being in the room.
The final punch in the gut, he tells me I should get it over and kill myself.... that no one would notice or care. I hate to admit that beyond my children and parents he's probably right, but that he feels he can even talk to me that way just sends me in this spiralling hatred. If our son needs help the last guy I trust to be an adult is him. He's such a big fucking baby that I'm utterly disgusted. As I'm writing this I hear him swearing at him and know he doesn't get what it is to be a child, he's so consumed with his own bitterness and rage that he just pisses all over innocence. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the next few weeks.
Replies
You can get through thnext few weeks. Just keep breathing. It sucks and it is especially tough when everything seems to be crashing down at once. But it is worth it to hold on until tomorrow. If you lose access to a vehicle, it is still worth it to keep on living. There will be new opportunities to get better transportation in the future. If you fail a class, it can be retaken (trust me!) if your son is autistic, you will be an excellent mother, my little brother is autistic and so smart and lovely and I\'m so glad that he\'s here.
As long as you get up tomorrow, there is always an opportunity for something new and better, there\'s the chance for you to change your path. Your husband sucks and it\'s pathetic that he is so unhappy with his life that he wants to bring you down to his level. If you can\'t get him out of your house or it is impossible for you to move, treat him as if he is not there. Do not rely on him for anything and spend as much time away from him as you can possibly manage.
Too bad he lost his job and he is now turning everything on you because he made bad decisions.. now he is further emotionally abusing you, sure he may have a legal right to be in the house if his name is on the mortgage/deed. but if you file a restraining order if you feel you need it, or fear for your and your children\'s well-being, he shouldn\'t be able to live in the same residence as you. Adding this here after seeing the last paragraph. if he told you to end your life- call the cops and get a restraining order again him. He is emotionally abusing you, so he can control and manipulate you. Your family and friends would care if you died, and all the people that you will meet will care.. Furthermore, your child could have something going on or it could be depression from his parents fighting and divorcing and what he is trying to do is cope and self sooth.
GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE. he doesn\'t even have any regard to his children but himself... If my husband told me to kill myself. I would have him removed from the property. I don\'t care how much he may not like me -nobody deserves to be talked to like that. he doesn\'t care about the language and mental anguish that he is putting on you or your children. I would talk to someone at the police department because I worry about what will happen to you if you have to deal with that constantly. I would not support him in any way, especially if its his decision and he moved out and came back- he has no control over you... you are strong and don\'t need him or his approval to be happy and move on.
I\'m with bdw1179. GET HIM OUT. Whatever it takes. He should not be in the house with you and the kids. Do what you have to Pink. No one says something like that to someone else without being emotionally/mentally unstable. As hard(I can\'t imagine!!) as this is, stay strong. You can do this. You are an incredible person.We are here for you. Please let us know what\'s going on...(((HUGS)))
I am so sorry that he talks to you like he does- it is so damaging to your soul. Especially the nasty comment he made about fitting in the car- that remark gave me chills, as it is something my X would have said. Please know you are not alone and you will survive this. My X and I lived in the same house for a month after we decided to split and it nearly destoyed me- he needs to be gone.